Suicide Awareness & Prevention, Part 1 of 3

This three-part series is aimed at promoting suicide awareness, and we will be discussing the topic of suicide throughout. If you are feeling suicidal & need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-TALK – and get some support. I truly hope you will stay alive and stay with us. 

Suicide is a leading cause of death here in the United States.

It’s time to shed the stigma and talk openly about the topic of suicide, so we can promote suicide awareness and prevent unnecessary deaths by suicide.

Did you know that suicide rates are highest in the spring?

Are you surprised to learn that most people who commit suicide have no known mental health disorder? (via Centers for Disease Control and Prevention)

More than 10.5 million American adults reported feeling suicidal in 2017. This is more than 4% of adults 18 and older. The prevalence was highest among adults aged 18-25 – about 10.5% of adults in this age range reported serious suicidal thoughts in 2017. (via the National Institute of Mental Health)

I’m a member of this club. (I’ll share more about that in part 2 of this series).

My first love committed suicide when I was 15, and ever since, suicide has been a part of my life.

suicide awareness
I suspect that Bradford Roger Test would be stunning us all with his guitar skills today if he were still with us. He loved music, loved hunting with his dad, and he loved his dog Dozer. Brad died by suicide at age 20, 15 years ago, in May 2004.

For years after Brad died, I fought the desire to take my own life. Even though I’m past the days where suicidal thoughts were almost constant, I’m not in the clear.

The truth is, suicidal thoughts are common, and they can be complicated.

Lots of things put us at risk for suicidal thoughts/feelings, and they’re not always in our control. Family history of suicide, family history of abuse, local suicide epidemics, feelings of isolation & loss, the stigma around seeking help, and barriers to accessing professional support are all risk factors for suicide.

Relationship problems, substance abuse, health issues, and financial losses are common contributing factors, too.

Those are the statistics – the facts – what the research tells us.

Today, I’d also love to share what I’ve noticed about suicide… simply starting a conversation as someone who cares about the topic.

My noticings are from my perspective as someone with a personal relationship to suicide, as someone with a background in mental health and experience working with suicidal clients, and as someone who’s passionate about supporting leading-edge creatives as they make their mark on the world.

Every time life ends prematurely, we miss out on volumes of what could have been contributed to the world with that life. When this happens, we all lose.

Sometimes, it’s a super depressed person that’s feeling suicidal every day. I suspect this is what many people picture when they think about suicide.

Sometimes, though, it’s the person with the biggest smile on their face, laughing the loudest, cracking jokes, impacting every single person in the room with their brilliant energy who’s most at risk to die by suicide.

A person feeling suicidal can simultaneously be madly in love with their closest people, living a beautiful envy-inspiring life. Then, in the wee hours of the night, they find themselves hitting a massive low with no-one around or no-one they can trust to provide the support they need to keep going.

This brief low moment is backed by the facts, too – some research has shown that more than half of suicides are attempted impulsively, and a quarter of suicides are attempted after only 5 minutes of consideration

I’ve noticed a gap in the suicide prevention resources that are available for people like you and me – people who are smart, ambitious, independent, creative, and private.

People who are self aware, constantly learning, and always seeking personal growth.

Those of us who are ready, willing, and able to invest generously in ourselves for the betterment of our life.

Leaders who possess a healthy respect for how small our challenges really are in the grand scheme of things… who sometimes feel so sad so deeply none the less.

Many times, we fall into our depths when we are carrying the emotional weight of our entire community, and our entire world… when we’re acutely aware of the severe challenges faced by so many less fortunate than us.

In those moments, it’s too easy to feel defeated, alone, and unable to keep going.

For some of us, the national hotline and the free support groups just don’t cut it. The traditional healthcare system doesn’t always cut it for us either.

For some of us, the traditional healthcare system isn’t an option – whether it be a lack of insurance coverage, bad experiences that have scared us away from the system, or an adamant refusal to take medication… not a refusal based in shame, but based in a deep knowing that we need to find a better way.

While we’re on the topic – there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with taking medication and seeking treatment through the traditional system. We are all entitled to seek the care & solutions that work best for us.

We can welcome healing in from all angles. In my book, the more support the better.

We feel things strongly, and we’re not interested in dimming or losing that part of ourselves.

Our emotional & creative nature is our gift to this world, and we’re always looking for ways to channel this.

We are strong and capable and we want to be supported with this in mind.

It can be a challenge to find support like that. I’m working to bridge this gap, so we can stop falling through it.

Many people don’t realize how many options exist to feel better.

Part of bridging the gap is having conversations to spread suicide awareness.

From what I can tell, this gap in support is partially produced by the way we talk about & portray suicide.

Suicide is sold to us as something to be afraid of, something to judge, a weakness of character, a lack of the stuff it takes to make it. This stigma keeps us quiet and ashamed when we feel suicidal or otherwise awful.

On the flip side, suicide can also be glorified and cast as a brave or powerful choice that inspires change in others, and that’s a dangerous story, too.

Changing this narrative for ourselves is so important, and it all starts with suicide awareness.

Another part of the gap I’ve noticed is a social illusion that people experiencing wealth, love, and other abundance are protected from feeling suicidal or generally unstable.

In reality, it can be extremely lonely at the top, with a ton of pressure piled on to boot.

Related, I’ve noticed a (mostly) unspoken but widespread belief that suicide prevention & support should be low cost or free.

Don’t get me wrong, I *love* that free resources & support groups exist, and I believe that these things are so very important, just like therapy and medication are important.

Still, these solutions do not provide everything for everyone.

I don’t know about you, but I crave support in this area that goes far beyond the walls of a doctor’s office, a room full of strangers, or a free 10-minute phone call.

I want support…

…to meet me in the middle of the night, in the moments when it really, truly counts.

…who cares deeply and recognizes that my darkest moments are stepping stones to an even more powerful version of myself.

…able to show me how to make those steps forward with much less unnecessary pain and figuring-it-out-alone along the way.

I would love to live in a world where friends, family, and society at large can support us well through moments like these.

I like to think that this conversation spreading suicide awareness is a step in the right direction.

Still, the truth is that most people aren’t trained in suicide prevention and most people have absolutely no-freaking-clue how to meaningfully connect with a person who’s feeling suicidal.

We learn to keep our feelings to ourselves, and we decide to carry (/be crushed by) our burden all alone.

Even our supportive, priceless friends can seem to be unavailable or distracted when we need them the most. Can you relate?

When we’re willing and able to invest our time & money into high-caliber, highly qualified emotional support – like the support I provide to my clients – we can transform ourselves over and over again… in ways that free resources and crowded hotlines just can’t touch.

I don’t want either of us to be the next Brad Test, Anthony Bourdain, Kate Spade, Chris Cornell, Robin Williams, or any of our loved ones who we’ve lost to suicide.

So, it’s time to change the way we talk about suicide.

Let’s keep spreading suicide awareness. We can use this 3-part blog series to get started.

Let’s change the way we approach these most challenging moments. We can empower each other to recognize and embrace our greatest creative and emotional gifts. Our world needs this from us.

If you’re feeling suicidal, sad, depressed, hopeless, lonely, anxious, etc… help is available, and you deserve access to that help. Also, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Please know that there are MANY options available to you.

I always say, if you and I haven’t had a conversation, then you definitely haven’t tried everything yet. Email me at info@briannamcinerny.com if you’d like to connect.

I have a class coming up called Transforming Dark Moments into Opportunities for Expansion. It’s a free virtual class on 6/7 @ 12 PM EST. If you’re still reading this, suicidal or not, I bet this class will be a great option for you to explore. (Register for all the details).

Stay tuned for more on this topic. I’ll share more about my personal story in part 2 of this series. We will look towards the future of suicide prevention in part 3.

If you are feeling suicidal & need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-TALK

Mental Wholeness Integration (2)

It’s relatively easy to stick with something new when you’re excited at the beginning and you’re working towards something you really want.

If you want to make Mental Wholeness a lasting pattern for you, this is where the real work truly starts.

Take the next several days to catch up on anything you’ve missed and reflect on the components of Mental Wholeness: Acceptance, Body Buzz, Beliefs, Clarity, Energy, Emotional Alchemy, Boundaries, and Trust.

Some of you are going to want more support and you’ll want to know what’s next. If that’s you, make sure to keep your eyes peeled for my next blog post. I’ll definitely make sure you have access to what you need.

Until then, it’s time to integrate. Here are the questions we’ve covered so far:

What are my intentions here?

What does Mental Wholeness mean to me?

What am I most resisting in my life right now?

How can I be more accepting of myself and others today?

What can I do to bring my body more love, comfort, and pleasure – right in this moment?

What would make my body buzz right now?

What beliefs are holding me back from fulfilling my purpose?

Am I ready to let go of those beliefs today?

If I’m not ready, what will it take to get ready?

What beliefs would be more helpful when it comes to accomplishing my goals?

What am I creating right now?

What do I WANT to create?

What will I see/hear/smell/taste/touch when I’ve succeeded?

Who is the person who already has what I want (or something close to it)?

How can I be more like that person right now?

How does that person FEEL? How does that person make others feel?

What emotion is waiting right under the surface of my awareness, needing to be felt?

Where in my life am I accepting less than I deserve? What line is being crossed? How can I better respect this boundary within myself today?  

What do I really want and need in my life right now?

What action would feel good and bring me some joy or pleasure?

Take that action now. (Especially if you’ve walked through this whole exercise!)

If you’re looking for personalized guidance, support, or just to continue the conversation, feel free to email me any time – info@briannamcinerny.com. I’d love to connect with you.

I’ll be back soon with the final entry in this Mental Wholeness blog series. Thank you for reading. See you soon.

Mental Wholeness Step 8: Trust

Well, we’ve made it to the last component of Mental Wholeness – Trust.

Trust is a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. It’s also an action – actively choosing to believe in those aspects of someone or something.

We can have trust in a lot of different ways. Trust is really helpful in relationships, if we want our connections to thrive. We can have trust in something greater than ourselves, like a specific faith or a belief in unseen power of the universe.

Today, I’m asking you to trust yourself on a new level.

Trusting anything and anyone else comes much easier when we work from the inside out.

Often we need to do the verb version of trust (actively believing in ourselves) to get to the noun version (a solid, stable sense of trust in ourselves, select others, and maybe something greater).

The best way I’ve found to build trust within oneself is to tap into ourselves – our bodies, our intuition, our desires – and actually act on what we find.

Start taking action steps to honor what your body and your intuition is telling you.

Take small steps at first.

Over time, you will see how much you really CAN trust yourself. The situations in your life will unfold so much more perfectly for you when you’re willing to trust yourself and your own inner guidance.

You’ll impact the people around you positively, too.

You might have stopped trusting yourself & the world a long time ago.

Maybe you experienced something horrible, or you’ve done some things you regret, and you feel like you stopped trusting for a reason.

I hope you’ll give this a try anyway.

Growing up, we learn to trample on our own boundaries and let everyone around us do the same thing. We take on the values and perspectives of the people who raised us & our society rather than understanding who we are and what we believe in. We learn that our value is in the pleasure we bring to other people.

Living from that frame of mind is where we los trust in ourselves in the first place.

The truth is, we can increase our value – both to ourselves and to others – with the pleasure we provide for OURSELVES. We do this through tapping into ourselves, so we can hear our inner guidance and act on the feedback we get.

Here’s the thing – like we talked about back in beliefs – you may have started off on the wrong foot with this as a child, and for good reason. You wanted to survive within your family and in the world.

You’re your own adult now. You can set your own rules. You get to take care of yourself, and you can trust yourself to do a better job than anyone else ever could.

Other people will follow suit, though – you will receive the best treatment of your life from everyone around you when you let them follow your lead.

When we nurture a sense of trust in ourselves, the world opens up for us in beautiful ways.

We become one with the world and the rest of creation. We start receiving inspired ideas that put is in just the right space to receive whatever we’re ready for in just the right moment.

Trust leads us right back into acceptance that everything is unfolding perfectly for us, leading us to what we want, even if it doesn’t look the way we thought we would.

We need to learn to accept the way the world is unfolding around us, and trust that it will all work out in our favor, especially in the unpleasant moments.

It’s also helpful to accept the fact that there’s always more work to do. Even when you get the things you want, you will want something new, and that’s OK. Even when you feel mentally whole and you trust yourself, it will always be possible to take it to a new, deeper level.

As long as you’re trusting yourself, and taking action on your own inner guidance, you’re on the path.

The world has a beautiful way of unfolding for us when we take all of the steps I’ve outlined so far – Acceptance, Body Buzz, Beliefs, Clarity, Energy, Emotional Alchemy, Boundaries – and then we let things go (video) and Trust.

For your final Mental Wholeness question, take a deep breath, and ask yourself – what do I really want and need in my life right now? What next step would feel good and bring me joy or pleasure?

Start taking action NOW, one inspired baby step at a time.

If you’re looking for personalized guidance, support, or just to continue the conversation, feel free to email me any time – info@briannamcinerny.com. I’d love to connect with you.

If you’re looking for more on Trust, check out this video: Control What You Can and Let the Rest Go.

Now, I highly recommend taking some time to integrate everything we’ve covered so far.

When you’re ready, this blog will help you decide what to do next.

Mental Wholeness Step 7: Boundaries

Are you willing to protect yourself, your alignment, and your personal space?

Would you love to give and receive openly with more love in your heart?

Healthy boundaries are about both of these things. It’s both keeping unwanted, harmful things out, AND letting the good things in.

What do I mean when I say “boundaries”?

I think of a boundary as the line where one thing meets another. They might be visible, like a door, a wall, or a fence, or they might be invisible, like the border between states or the energy between people.

Remember that energy body we talked about back in step 5? Your energetic self has boundaries all it’s own, and you have the ability to impact those boundaries with your focus.

Boundaries are ever-changing things, they can be different moment to moment.

We live in a time that it’s more important than ever to be able to express ourselves about our boundaries – what we will and will not accept in our lives & with our bodies. We must be prepared to state our wants and needs explicitly for the people around us, especially when miscommunications happen.

At the same time, I’ve found that it’s often possible to inspire more respect from others for your boundaries without needing to bring it up explicitly at all.

This is because your boundaries all start inside of you – they need to be enforced on the inside first. (There’s also this thing that my clients and I call energetic communication in the program Surrender Strategy).

At the core of Boundaries is understanding what you deserve, and insisting that you will treat yourself in alignment with that. Other people will follow your lead.

Again, we’re embodying the energy of the person who is already living the vision you created back in clarity. You can allow your experiences in the emotional alchemy process to guide you. Understanding & evaluating how you feel is a great way to figure out where your boundaries lie, and what you need from yourself and others to feel satisfied.

You deserve to feel deeply comfortable and satisfied. You deserved to have your needs and your dreams fulfilled. Everyone does.

We also deserve to have support around this.

When you start noticing and communicating your boundaries to the people around you, there might be a bit of an uncomfortable blurt phase. During blurt phase, you’re not quite sure what to say in the moments your boundaries are crossed, and you haven’t quite learned how to soften your words with love yet (a nice thing to do, especially for those closest to you).

Plus, as I mentioned earlier, boundaries can be tricky and they move around all the time, depending on the context of whatever situation you’re in.

Sometimes we become limited by our own beliefs around the treatment we should and shouldn’t accept, as opposed to what truly feels right for us as individuals, and our relationships can get all mixed up because of that.

We need someone to hold space for us and reassure us about what’s possible for us and what we deserve.

This can be complicated stuff to sort out, but it’s so worth the effort.

When you start to feel safe and powerful in your own skin, your whole world will change. You’ll open yourself up to experiencing more and more love-filled goodness, as you build your confidence that you deserve it & you give it to yourself first. This is what healthy boundaries will provide for you.

So, take a deep breath, connect with yourself, and ask: Where in my life am I accepting less than I deserve? What line is being crossed there? How can I better respect this boundary within myself today?  

If you’re looking for personalized guidance, support, or just to continue the conversation, feel free to email me any time – info@briannamcinerny.com. I’d love to connect with you.

(If you’re looking for some video content about this, check out these throwback videos on push/pull relationships, for people-pleasers, How to Get More Confidence, Power & Respect, or How to Get rid of Toxic Relationships.

The final component of Mental Wholeness is Trust.

Mental Wholeness Strategies: Emotional Alchemy

emotional alchemy

It has been said that emotions are energy in motion; emotions are energy moving through our body. Emotional alchemy will help you take the reins back over this process, so you can use all of that energy to your advantage & use any emotional experience to create positive momentum in your life.

Practicing emotional alchemy is transforming your emotions into gold you can use to create your best life.

This is the strategy that usually meets the most resistance – for both my clients and myself. We live in a world that fears emotion, and as a result, most of us fear our own deep emotions too.

One time, as a teenager, I remember feeling so much heated rage running through me that I ran outside and laid down in the winter snow.

This actually kind of worked… better than anything else I’d found, at least.

I’ve literally writhed & screamed in emotional pain, feeling so alone, so betrayed, so hopeless, so angry… I really struggled with my emotions for a long time.

My feelings are very strong, and I never received tangible guidance growing up about how to deal with my strong emotions – without shoving them down.

Shoving my emotions down only ever led to anxiety, pain, substance abuse, and total meltdowns when the weight got to be too much.

(Check out this article that talks about the link between emotional health and physical health – it’s no joke).

We are always going to experience a full spectrum of emotion. Highs, lows, and everything in between. (Recognizing and embracing this is an important part of Acceptance).

We need a way to deal with the challenging emotions in a manner that doesn’t sink us.

Especially when you’re someone who feels things really strongly, like me.

It is 100% YOUR responsibility to manage to way you feel.

Emotional Alchemy is all about honing your ability to feel really good unconditionally – regardless of your life situation or what the people around you are doing.

It’s about flowing with what you’re feeling on a moment to moment basis, and allowing that feedback to guide you.

Thinking you can rain positivity over your challenging times or just “love and light” your way out of every conflicting feeling you have doesn’t really work – it’s spiritual bypassing.

Emotions aren’t inherently good or bad, they just are.

All emotions are valuable.

When we welcome the full spectrum of emotion, we’re welcoming a full and diverse life.

When we shut ourselves down emotionally, we create a breeding ground for disease in our bodies & discontent in our relationships.

Emotional Alchemy requires switching from resistance to curiosity when it comes to your emotions – curiosity without judgment.

Nothing stuffs an emotion down better than feeling like you shouldn’t be experiencing it, so leave your judgment at the door.

Then take three basic steps:

  1. Lean in to what you’re feeling. Try to understand where you’re coming from without judgment.
  2. Feel the feeling completely, really finding the sensation in your body and giving your focus to it, curious for any feedback or messages the sensation has for you. Allow what comes up & stick with it until you feel a relieving shift in your body. (I’ve processed emotions that took days or weeks, but usually this part only takes minutes or moments).
  3. Examine the situations & your perspectives that led to your feelings. Examine the role you played in everything that led to this emotion. Are there any new understandings that could create resolution & more connection with yourself and the people around you? What can you learn from your experience? What can you do differently & what will you repeat again in the future?

It is extremely helpful to have outside support while diving into Emotional Alchemy, especially during the third step.

This is without fail the first guidance I give to those who work with me – start looking at the unprocessed emotions behind what you’re experiencing right now. It’s a practice that will change your life right away.

I went deeper into the emotional alchemy process in this video.

For now, I’ll leave you with this question: What emotion is waiting right under the surface of your awareness, ready to be felt?

Share in the comments, or check out my free FB group The Cocoon, and share your answers in there. We would love to witness & support you!

If you really want to take this deeper, I would absolutely love to have you in our upcoming group coaching round of Mental Wholeness – you can sign up to join us here.

If you’re looking for personalized guidance, support, or just to continue the conversation, I’d love to connect with you.

The next strategy is Boundaries.

Mental Wholeness Step 5: Energy

When I talk about energy, I’m talking about a lot of different things. (Not solar power, gas, electricity, or windmills).

Here’s a bit of what I mean by “energy”:

I’m talking about your energetic body – your unseen vibe that mingles with the energies of the world & people around you.

This includes your chakra system. The chakra system was regarded as our energetic body in ancient eastern traditions, each chakra corresponding with parts of our physical body. Our chakras provide a bridge between the Earth and the universe – a bridge that runs straight through our bodies.

I’m speaking about vibration too. Everything in this world carries a vibration, and we are no different. We tend to attract things that are vibrating at the same frequencies as we are. I talk a lot about vibration in this video.

I’m referring to your spirit/soul & the life energy flowing through you.

Generational patterns impact your energetic state, too.

Using your energy to your advantage is all about being the person who’s already living the vision you created back in Clarity right now.

What are your thoughts, feelings, and actions reflecting about you to the world? What thoughts, feelings, and actions will you experience when you have what you want?

Start living your vision NOW.

Throwback video: The #1 Question for Success: Who Are You BEING?

It’s worthwhile to seek alignment & balance of our chakras and to intentionally raise our vibration.

We can do this by bringing our body into greater physical alignment – our chakras align more easily when our body does too – or through intentionally connecting with each chakra.

When we choose new thoughts and new patterns of behavior that are more aligned with what we want to create, we impact our energetic state.

We can use outside supports like crystals and energy healers. Check out a couple of my favorites: Hilarie Mae Dahl and Melani Marx. I love enlisting energy healers as part of my support team.

The energetic body has been described to me as a light bulb – without care, it can get a little clouded and dusty over time. Taking steps to clean up your energy – choosing new thoughts & actions, seeking energy healing, processing stored emotions, tending to your physical environment, etc – cleans up the bulb so you can shine more brightly in the world.

You don’t NEED crystals or anything outside of yourself to make adjustments to your energetic state. (Though, those sorts of things can definitely be fun and beneficial if you believe in them). Still, if you come to rely too heavily on tools outside of yourself, it’s easy to feel like a victim of your state and your surroundings.

At the end of the day, YOU control your energetic state, you only need to learn how through practice.

You have the power to work with your energy, heal your energy system, and even to project your energy, just by applying your focus and intention to this concept.

That being said, this is another area that you really deserve some extra support from someone who can help you see the full picture.

I’m a certified energy healer as well, so this is another tool I use with my clients.

Take some deep breaths, remember where we’ve been so far, think about where we’re going, and ask yourself… Who is the person who already has what I want (or something close to it)? Can I be more like that person right now? How does that person FEEL? How do they make others feel?

If you’re looking for personalized guidance, support, or just to continue the conversation, feel free to email me any time – info@briannamcinerny.com. I’d love to connect with you.

The next component is Emotional Alchemy.

Mental Wholeness Integration (1)

Now it’s time to integrate – to take some space & let what we’ve been working on really sink in.

Remember when I mentioned that commitment is needed to see the best results? This is one of those times where commitment will make all the difference.

It’ll be at least a few days before I continue sharing the components of Mental Wholeness with you. During that time, consider re-visiting the topics I’ve already shared: Acceptance, Body Buzz, Beliefs, and Clarity.

These make up the ABCs of Mental Wholeness. When I’m not feeling myself, practicing Acceptance, Body Buzz, Beliefs, and Clarity never fails to reconnect me. Applying these four components alone can help you feel much better quickly, and inspire the next step you need for whatever situation you’re in.

Here are the questions we’ve explored so far:

What are my intentions here?

What does Mental Wholeness mean to me?

What am I most resisting in my life right now?

How can I be more accepting of myself and others today?

What can I do to bring my body more love, comfort, and pleasure – right in this moment?

What would make my body buzz right now?

What beliefs are holding me back from fulfilling my purpose?

Am I ready to let go of those beliefs today?

If I’m not ready, what will it take to get ready?

What beliefs would be more helpful when it comes to accomplishing my goals?

What am I creating right now?

What do I WANT to create?

What will I see/hear/smell/taste/touch when I’ve succeeded?

If you’re looking for personalized guidance, support, or just to continue the conversation, feel free to email me any time – info@briannamcinerny.com. I’d love to connect with you.

I’ll see you in a few days to continue with the next four components of Mental Wholeness – Energy, Emotional Alchemy, Boundaries, and Trust.

Mental Wholeness Step 4: Clarity

Clarity is a very powerful tool.

When I talk about clarity, it’s all about having a clear understanding about what you want and what you’re working towards.

This works both internally, as a feeling, and externally, in our ability to communicate clearly about what we want and need from others.

We’ve already started dipping our toes into this pool. Body Buzz is a surefire way to connect with your desires, and having empowering Beliefs about what’s possible for us is important here.

What does clarity feel like to you? See if you can access this feeling and lean into it right now.

A well-developed sense of clarity will help you stay on track regardless of what’s going on in your life.

Most people approach clarity as a fleeting feeling that they don’t have any control over – it comes and goes, feeling amazing while it’s there and horrible when we can’t find it.

It’s important to realize that clarity is something you can cultivate.

Clarity is available to us in every situation if we’re willing to look. All you need to do is use the information around you to understand more about what you want.

When times are tough, it’s actually really easy to think about what you want – when you’re surrounded by what you DON’T want, you’ll receive some great information about what you’d prefer instead. Don’t get all worked up about not having it yet. (Remember Acceptance?) Realizing what you’re working towards and putting some intention there is a very important step.

Challenging emotions can become useful here, too. They’ll alert you when unhelpful patterns are playing out in your life, inspiring what you’d rather experience instead. They can highlight what needs to change about your life experience to cultivate the feelings you’d love to have.

This component has been essential for me when it comes to getting through hard times. I use clarity – my vision for what I’m creating – as my light at the end of the tunnel. My candle light in the dark.

And when times are groovy, clarity helps us decide which actions to take. More importantly, it can help us decide which actions NOT to take, and what to say “no” to.

Understanding what feels so amazing about the good times can help you cultivate more and more goodness in your life.

Here’s a video I made about Clarity, if you’re hungry for more.

Take a deep breath, connect with the highest version of yourself, and ask: What am I creating right now? What do I WANT to create? What will I see/hear/smell/taste/touch when I’ve succeeded?

Stepping into the feeling of what you want is very important. More on that next time.

If you’re looking for personalized guidance, support, or just to continue the conversation, feel free to email me any time – info@briannamcinerny.com. I’d love to connect with you.

I suggest taking some time now to integrate everything we’ve covered so far.

The next component of Mental Wholeness is Energy.

Mental Wholeness Strategies: Beliefs

Mental Wholeness Strategies: Beliefs

Have you noticed areas of your life where you seem to create the same experience over and over again?

That’s a part of your human design.

Humans behave in patterns.

As we grow up in the world, we interpret what’s happening around us and develop patterns of behavior that are designed to keep us alive. Our most difficult experiences get coded as “survivable” and we create them with our thoughts, choices, and actions over and over again.

Our beliefs are one of the main ways that these patterns function… what you believe to be true guides your actions and your decision-making.

What we believe determines our reality.

That’s how the things that we “know” can become our biggest enemy – because they limit what we’re able to see and experience in our lives.

The patterns and beliefs that we developed as kids are rarely still serving us when we’re adults.

The good news is that we can change our beliefs, and changing our beliefs changes our world.

We have the power to change what we believe, and harnessing that power is key to creating the lives we want.

It’s challenging to identify & meaningfully work with our beliefs and patterns without outside help. When it comes to these things, we can be pretty blind and stuck in our ways.

Again, that’s part of our human design. We’re wired to survive – to stay safe, to belong, to feel loved… whatever that meant for us when we were kids.

When our system picks up on us trying to change a belief or pattern, it kicks up defense mechanisms to keep us repeating the same old thing. It actively TRIES to put blinders on to unknown possibilities – which are interpreted as “unsafe” because we’ve never experienced them before.

This really matters when you want to accomplish things you’ve never experienced before.

Having qualified support is invaluable here, and you deserve to have high-quality support.

I’ve created a step-by-step process to shift beliefs.

This entails accepting and understanding of how you acquired a belief in the first place, finding gratitude for how it’s served you, and exploration of other possible interpretations for early events – so you can embrace beliefs that are more supportive of your success.

I described the process for changing beliefs step by step here in this video.

I have an arsenal of coaching & NLP tools that I use to help my clients shift their beliefs as well. Again, support is a real game-changer when you’re working with this component especially.

Today, I’m urging you to trade in your old disempowering beliefs about what’s possible in this world, for beliefs that serve your success.

Repeat after me: I am enough, I am loved, I am safe. I am free, I am worthy, I am valuable. I am capable.

The work that I do is of the highest service in this world.

I have value to contribute in every situation I’m in.

I am a powerful creator of my own reality.

Making money is easy. I have all the time in the world. I know how to get what I want.

Do you catch my drift?

You get to choose beliefs that light you up inside.

Take a deep breath, tap into the wisest version of yourself, and ask this question:  What beliefs are holding me back? Am I ready to let go of those beliefs today? If I’m not ready, what will it take to get ready?

What beliefs would be more helpful when it comes to accomplishing my goals?

As we move forward, start collecting evidence that supports new, empowering beliefs. Notice what comes up throughout your days.

What actions are you inspired to take? I’d love to hear from you. Share in the comments, or check out my free FB group The Cocoon, and share your answers in there. We would love to witness & support you!

If you really want to take this deeper, I would absolutely love to have you in our upcoming group coaching round of Mental Wholeness – you can sign up to join us here.

This can be a really tricky component to navigate. If you’re looking for personalized guidance, support, or just to continue the conversation, remember you can email me any time – info@briannamcinerny.com. I’d love to connect with you.

The next strategy in this series is Clarity.

Mental Wholeness Strategies: Body Buzz

Your body can lead you towards everything you’ve ever wanted.

Body Buzz is all about tapping into this potential, so you can use your body as your wand and your guide in the world.

There’s nothing and no-one you can trust more deeply than your body.

(Though admittedly, the signs can be a bit confusing, especially after experiencing trauma).

Your body is a magical vessel that carries your consciousness and your soul/spirit/divine connection.

It has the ability to heal itself.

It can guide you towards the fulfillment of your purpose… through following your desires & what feels REALLY GOOD for you. How freaking cool is that?

You may say that you’re sick, or you have evidence your body isn’t a friend of yours.

If that sounds like you, I challenge you to reconsider. I’m confident that you’re going to get a lot farther working WITH your body than you ever could working against it.

Hating your body IS working against it. Resisting every physical and emotional impulse IS working against it.

The way I see it, Body Buzz works in three layers: body love (video), prioritizing physical comfort, and seeking pleasure.

To tap into this component of Mental Wholeness, love your body exactly as it is.

Choose to prioritize your own comfort and physical well-being.

Seek activities that bring your body pleasure, and be willing to experience good-feeling things on deeper and deeper levels.  

This is about nurturing a deep connection to your body, and heeding the guidance you receive. Period.

It’s not just about “taking care of yourself” by forcing your body into activities/diets/procedures that logically make sense to you, or that society says you should do.

Get curious and LISTEN to the messages your body is sending you, on a moment to moment basis. Nurture a smooth line of communication between mind and body.

Create a routine that taps into these principles to train your body to buzz on the regular – no substances required.

(Of course, you’re free to dabble in substance as you wish, you won’t find any judgment here).

Replace parts of your routine that you do because you “should” or you feel like you need to with things that your body actually WANTS and loves.

Is your body craving macaroni and cheese? Eat up. Thoroughly enjoy every bite. Don’t shame yourself for it.

Without the complications of shame and negative self-talk, your body can ask for what it wants & you can give it to yourself – without judgment.

Make sure you drink lots of water and eat lots of veggies, too. Notice how that feels in your body. Be willing to learn about your body’s unique dietary preferences. Seek a balance that makes YOU feel good – as opposed to judging any food as inherently good or bad. Try to eat in a way that brings you pleasure – before, during, and after.

Instead of running on a treadmill or doing exercise that you hate doing, do something you love – like putting on one of your favorite songs and dancing around at full blast, or going for a walk outside.

Stretch your body lots.

Have plenty of orgasms.

I just stopped writing this to stretch out my spine. I didn’t even need to get off the couch to stretch things out in a way that felt really satisfying.

It probably looked kind of funny, but whatever.

Prioritize asking your body what it needs to feel loved, comfortable, and turned on to sensation in each moment – then deliver on what it’s asking for. Look for answers inside of yourself. See what happens.

Connecting & communicating with your body in this way will not only help you feel better NOW. You’ll feel better and better over time.

Let me give you an example of how this can work with what you’re already doing throughout your day.

Recently, I was removing some standing water our malfunctioning dishwasher. A potentially annoying situation, yeah?


Throughout the course of my task, I was crouched in uncomfortable positions. I worked with my body and listened to what it needed, stretching out my hips, legs, and spine, moving around as often as I needed to. I made sure my stomach was engaged, taking some weight off of my legs and hips.

My ears were fed with podcasts I love and some of my favorite vinyl to bring pleasure into the mix.

Making myself more comfortable and finding opportunities for pleasure made the whole experience much more enjoyable – about as enjoyable as trying to fix a dishwasher can be.

I left the situation with my mood intact – maybe even improved – even though I wasn’t able to get the dishwasher working again.

When your body, your love of your body, and pleasure (without judgment and shame) lead your choices, you’ll become happier and healthier for the rest of your life.

Tap into your body & love it up every second of the day.

It will lead you exactly where you need to be, and it’ll feel effortless.

You’ll become more aware of what you want, and more able to make your desires a reality. Making choices will become easier and easier.

Take a deep breath, feel all the way out through your fingers and toes, and ask this question: What can I do to bring my body more love, comfort, and pleasure – right now?

What would make your body buzz?

What actions are you inspired to take? I’d love to hear from you. Share in the comments, or check out my free FB group The Cocoon, and share your answers in there. We would love to witness & support you!

If you really want to take this deeper, I would absolutely love to have you in our upcoming group coaching round of Mental Wholeness – you can sign up to join us here.

The next strategy in this series is Beliefs.