New Year, New Success: 3 Steps to Achieve Your New Year’s Resolutions

Wildly successful people focus on their goals every single day, 365 days each year.

Regardless of your specific goals or what “success” means to you, a real sense of fulfillment comes with identifying what you want and focusing on it every single day until you have it.

Still, many people set goals starting January 1st – commonly around becoming healthier and more fit, or becoming more organized, or living a fuller more adventurous life.

What goals will you be working towards in this new year?

Honestly, it’s ALWAYS a good idea to reflect on your goals, so you can regularly make sure you’re heading directly towards them. These 3 steps to achieve your new year’s resolutions can ensure more consistent success, whether you’re a year-round goal-setter or a “New Year, new you” type of person:

  1. Manage your expectations. It’s been said that less than 10% of people actually accomplish their New Years Resolutions. Often, we set very strict, rigid expectations in place, only to lose steam and quit entirely when our progress slips even the slightest bit. If you’re often hard on yourself, please, lighten up a little by managing your expectations. Change doesn’t happen in an instant – it requires consistent focused actions over a long period of time… throughout this entire new year and every year that follows. Rather than setting yourself up for a sprint in January, break your big goals down into small, incremental steps, and be willing to adjust rather than quitting when challenges come up. Moving through failure is an important part of becoming successful. Accepting that your growth is a life-long process will set you up very well for the long haul.
  2. Clarify what you want and WHY you want it. This is important. Not only does understanding your intention keep you motivated, it helps you set more deeply satisfying and realistic goals for yourself. Let’s take getting healthy, for example. Do you want to lose weight and feel lighter? Is feeling at home in your body the priority? Or, is there something specific you want to achieve through improving your health – like a longer life or a more loving relationship? Each of these versions of “becoming healthier” come with completely different action plans. Identifying exactly what you want and why that’s important to you can keep you focused while helping you identify the most direct route to truly fulfilling success.
  3.  Get support. We do not create long-lasting results for ourselves in a vacuum, though we often value our independence and our ability to do things alone highly in our society. This point of view often keeps us disconnected from each other. It ensures that our results will come much slower and more painfully than they would have if we consulted with loved ones, mentors, and specialists to assist us when the way forward doesn’t look clear. While making changes in your life, you WILL encounter obstacles. Enlist people you trust who can support you when you do.

When you live your life this way – setting goals and moving towards them every single day – nothing will be out of your reach. Have a fantastic 2018.

 

 

3 steps to achieve your new year's resolutions

Give Lovingly: Be Generous Without Sacrificing Yourself

Generosity is readily giving more of oneself – more time, more money, more kindness – than is necessary or expected considering the situation. I’m sure you know, generosity is an extremely desirable quality to have.

It also has a dark side.

Unfortunately, the desire to give weighs heavily on some generous people when they don’t practice giving to themselves first and foremost. Generous people often give to others, to their own detriment.

The pressure we feel to be generous often doubles during the holiday season.

For instance… We donate money or buy gifts before accounting for our own financial well-being. 

We always say “yes” to new responsibilities or events, when we’re already worn paper thin.

We force smiles and niceties with people and family members who don’t make us feel good, just to maintain the status quo.

When we neglect our own needs like this for the benefit of others, we nurture a breeding ground for resentment, anger, and eventually burnout, when we have absolutely nothing left to give.

This is not the spirit of generosity. True generosity happens naturally – inspired and overflowing from a full cup, without creating any hardship whatsoever for the giver.

To the contrary – true acts of giving always carry an element of receiving too. Contributing to someone else’s life from an inspired, loving place always feels genuinely enjoyable, abundant, and fulfilling for everyone involved.

When you’re NOT enjoying the process of giving – when you feel like you don’t have a choice, or you feel that you never get anything back in return – that’s a sure sign you’ve stepped into the territory of self-induced self-sacrifice.

So let’s take a step back, shall we?

These tips will help your giving spirit thrive throughout the holiday season.

1. Take 100% responsibility for the way you feel. Let other people take 100% responsibility for the way they feel, too. Your #1 job is to care for yourself – let that be your priority. It’s not your job to make other people happy. It’s not up to anyone else to make you happy, either. People will survive and thrive without you, or they’ll learn how with practice. That is a very, very good thing.

2. Learn what your “full body yes” feels like, then follow it. Close your eyes, take deep breaths, connect with your body, connect with the wisest part of you, and ask – what does a full body “yes” feel like? Say NO to everything that doesn’t elicit that solid YES reaction. You’ll still have plenty of amazing things to fill your calendar, especially during this time of year. Your time is valuable and in high demand – spend time following your “yes”, not pushing down your “no”.

3. Only commit to projects, parties, and people when you KNOW you will deliver. Everything on your to-do list will subtly drain your energy until it’s complete, so be deliberate, be selective, and be realistic. Don’t stretch yourself too thin. You don’t owe an explanation to anyone – you’re allowed to say “no” (or at least stay temporarily non-committal).

When you give generously to yourself first, a joyful generosity towards others will naturally emerge – because nothing feels better than making an impact in the life of a loved one or someone who needs it.

Happy Holidays!

Be Generous Without Sacrificing Yourself

Feel In Flow: Spark Creativity When You’re Feeling Stuck

Nothing feels better than the experience of empowered creative energy running through your body.

You know that feeling when you’ve just accomplished something you really care about?

Or the experience of having a brilliant idea?

When you feel passionate about what you’re working towards, with plenty of energy to get the necessary work done, what’s that like for you?

All of these things are involved when you’re aligned with your creative flow.

Think of a person you know who’s very healthy, happy, and successful. Do you think they’re connected to themselves like this?

You can hear it in someone’s voice when they’re in this creative state. Their voice has a whole different resonance to it, doesn’t it?

You can see the glow of their skin and the light in their eyes, regardless of their age, size, or gender. They turn heads when they walk into a room. They seem to attract opportunities effortlessly, they seem carefree and confident. They feel comfortable in their own skin, and everyone around them can see it.

Not only do these people feel inspired themselves, but they inspire everyone around them.

They’re easy to remember, but they can be difficult to emulate… even if you’re usually one of them.

When you’re feeling out of sync with those amazing creative juices, give these steps a try:

1. Move your body. Get out of your head, and into your body. Slow down & stretch. Get up and go for a walk. Focus on your breath. In a locked, uninterrupted space, breathe and bring your conscious awareness to the sensations in different parts of your body. Explore how those sensations feel. This can be uncomfortable to do, but it’s almost guaranteed to move you past whatever’s blocking you. If emotions surface, just let it happen & let it pass. Everything is normal.

2. Get back to the basics. Who are you? Where do you come from? Where do you want to go? What’s important to you? What are you really passionate about? Take some time to reflect on these questions. Journal about them if you’d like. Cancel your plans if you’ve been feeling overwhelmed. Unplug from your devices, stop checking social media, let go of what others think. Watch some favorite movies or listen to your favorite music. Remember, anything is possible. If you can believe it, you can achieve it.

3. Connect with others. Who’s someone who never fails to bring out the best in you? Reach out to them. Brainstorm your thoughts & ideas with someone else, so you can get out of your own head and use the feedback from others. When we’re open to collaboration, we can take each other’s ideas to the next level, and we can have fun while we do it. Incorporating different perspectives makes for dynamic success.

When you reach that extraordinary creative connection with yourself, remember how much you deserve it. Be ready to repeat the process over and over again, as long as you live. Don’t forget to enjoy every second of the ride.

 

Feel In Flow: Spark Creativity When You’re Feeling Stuck

Accessing Desires & Why You Should Care

Desires often get a bad reputation for being frivolous & nonsensical, dangerous to indulge. But, honestly, when we’re not able to look closely at our desires on a moment to moment basis and freely step into accessing desires that come to us, we usually end up repressing them & misunderstanding them entirely – which is a problem, because desires serve a pretty important purpose in our lives. When you CAN examine your desires, there is generally a way to fulfill them immediately, without making any changes to your life or compromising any of your relationships – most importantly, without compromising your relationship with yourself. Give this video a watch & let me know what you think.

I’ll be taking a break from Tuesday Musings, probably for the rest of 2017, definitely for the next few weeks! Don’t worry… get connected here & “like” my facebook page – there will be plenty of content coming through to hold you over. Please, email me & tell me what topics you’d like to hear about once these come back!!  – info@briannamcinerny.com. Love you all, & talk soon.

Rock-Climbing, GPS Navigation, & Using Your Emotions to Build Your Life

How are rock climbing, GPS navigation, & emotions related? Why should you care about this while you’re building your life & your business?

Today’s Tuesday Musings video will provide inspiration, visualization, & fuel for your imagination, that’ll help you take a direct route towards the life that you’re after.

Check it out & let me know what you think.

Quiet Time: Finding Silence in a Busy World

Silence is golden.

Unfortunately, with busy streets, busy schedules, & even busier minds, silence is also a rare commodity these days.

We’re surrounded by noise from automobiles & other people & screaming children. We hear the squeals of public transportation and buzzing from crowds, classrooms, conferences, concerts & cities all around us. Even when the noise quiets, it’s normal to be stuck on overdrive with a mind that races and expands to fill the empty space. It’s becoming harder & harder to shut off.

Finding silence today is not easy. It takes intention & persistence. Still, making an effort to find silence is important, and it’s worth it.

Sitting in silence for awhile is like pushing a reset button on our brains. Silence can help us find more clarity, & greater connection to ourselves & others & the world around us. It helps us spark creativity, & it even regenerates our brain cells.

When we carve out quiet time for ourselves, we tune into our senses & calm our bodies. We feel safer, centered, & grounded. We can sort out the clutter that keeps us scattered. When we’re comfortable with silence in each passing moment, we can become a grounding force for everyone around us, to truly impact our world & everyone in it.

Valuable silence gives us the spaciousness we desire. When we swim in silence often enough, we learn we’re already whole, & we already have access to everything we need. Silence helps us slow time & get more out of our every effort. Silence makes room for the reflection & insight we need to move forward effectively & consistently towards our goals.

Are you ready to make silence a priority in your life? Here are a few steps to get started:

Calm your mind. Quiet the noise between your ears first. If your mind moves very fast, short guided meditations might be a great place for you to start. You can work up to 5 minutes of silent time, slowly making silence a habit & scheduling it into your day. Get comfortable having solo conversations with yourself, & get curious about the thoughts & feelings that come up during silence. Everything is normal.

Unplug. Turn off your phone & other technology. Seek out nature. Nature might not be 100% silent, but it’s a lot quieter than a busy street or a crowded workplace, & gorgeous natural scenery can compliment quiet time beautifully. Go for a walk in a quiet area & opt for silence over headphones. Focus on your body & your breath while you try to keep your thoughts slow & to a minimum. Afterwards, notice how much fuller you feel.

Get support. Let your people know what you’re up to, & ask clearly for you need to make your silent time possible. Make a sign to hang on your door when you don’t want to be interrupted. Invest in noise blocking headsets, silent retreats, & outside accountability as you make this the new normal. Make silence a family event, knowing that growing the habit of silence with your loved ones is providing them with a tool for success & happiness that they can use for life.

You may want a pen & paper to record insights you receive during your silent time. Don’t re-join the noise until you feel refreshed & inspired to act. Congratulations on prioritizing silence for yourself moving forward – you definitely deserve it.

Quiet Time - Finding Silence in a Busy World

Stress-Free Detox: Cut Down on Chemicals without Losing Your Mind

Have you ever tried to detox your body?

If you’ve attempted removing even ONE chemical from your life – from your food, your cleaning supplies, or a daily habit like nicotine, alcohol, sugar, or caffeine – you know that cutting down on chemical consumption is way easier said than done.

It’s a growing trend to minimize our exposure to chemicals, for benefits such as weight loss, more energy, mental clarity, or better skin. Minimizing our chemical consumption is often an important part of providing for our body. Loving our body helps us feel mentally whole, which impacts every area of our lives.

Still, the process is often filled with maddening obstacles. Temptation & exposure to chemicals is everywhere we look. Attempts to cut back are often full of mood swings, feeling drained, & terrible headaches… not to mention endless trial & error with new products that aren’t always worth their salt. Not to mention the time & learning it takes to prepare chemical-free food… it’s all enough stress to make anyone lose their cool.

There has to be a better way! Cutting out chemicals is supposed to feel good, right? We’re looking to gain clarity here, not lose our minds. Try these three steps to get you through:

Don’t judge. Go easy on yourself & keep it simple. Tell yourself that your efforts are good enough. Allow yourself to do what feels good for you, and accept every part of your personality that comes up along the way. Judging yourself harshly regarding your progress will only push you back into the arms of the chemicals you’re trying to avoid. When the pressure comes off, it can be much easier for the habit to fade out naturally.

Substitute. Figure out what need that chemical has been filling for you, and brainstorm some other ways to fill the need when it hits. Write your ideas down on paper & consider this your go-to action plan when cravings or urges hit. Are you looking for energy? Try drinking some water or going for a walk. Are you looking for sweetness or connection? Seek out a hug, or give a compliment to someone you love. Drink teas, find something to fidget with, take a bath. Try making your own bathing & cleaning products. Find alternatives that really work for you.

Get support. This is truly the biggest key to lasting success. Surround yourself with people who support you, & support yourself by avoiding tempting situations at first. Get a therapist or coach to talk to. Surround yourself with people making similar changes in their life. Find books that share stories & advice from people who have successfully done what you’re attempting. Learn how to ask for what you want from others. Connecting with other people for support is one of the strongest things you can do, and when mentally whole people come together for a purpose, amazing things are possible.

Above all else, make these changes for yourself – because you want to. Focus on the outcomes you’re trying to achieve. And – always know you’re good enough & you deserve love, right now, regardless of what chemicals you choose to consume.

 

Stress-Free Detox: Cut Down on Chemicals without Losing Your Mind

Overcome Comparison & Feel Good Enough

It is very natural to compare ourselves to other people, & to feel like we’re left out as an outsider somehow. Feelings like this… “I’m not enough” or “Nobody wants me” or “I’m unlovable” are all related to core fears that we ALL experience as humans. On a primal level, we can’t survive if we’re separated from our tribe, so these feelings & fears developed to keep us safe on a very basic level. They’re actually worth celebrating. They have good intentions. Still, you deserve to feel good enough right now, & your happiness & success depend on it. You’re unique, & you offer something to the world that no-one else does.

There’s not another person on this Earth who’s exactly like you, so there’s really no use comparing. We’re all on our own individual path, and every single one of us is an essential part of the whole, even when we’re only a small part of the picture. On that note, this week’s Tuesday Musings offers some suggestions you can use to overcome comparison & start feeling good enough right now. I’ll be back with more on July 11th, talking about the first component of mental wholeness – Acceptance. Make sure to leave a comment below & tell me what you think! Thanks for watching.

Seeing Your Ideas Through When the Excitement & New-ness Fades

Generating ideas & moving forward on the best of the bunch can be a really fun & exciting process, especially in the beginning stages – but big picture ideas often take YEARS to see through, and it doesn’t take long for new-ness to fade & challenges to come into the picture.

Developing some stamina & stick-to-it-iveness can do wonders for your self-esteem & the level of success & achievement you feel while you work towards your goals.

In today’s video, I share a few strategies to help you do just that. Next week we’ll be musing about allowing completion in your life, including some strategies to feel complete all along so you can achieve big things with smooth-sailing & enjoyment of your creative process.