Have you or a loved one ever been impacted by self-sabotaging decisions or behaviors?
Self-sabotage describes actions and choices that take us farther away from our goals rather than closer to them. If you’re working towards a goal you haven’t been able to achieve yet, there’s a good change you’re sabotaging your own efforts somewhere behind the scenes. Even (especially) if you’re not aware you’re doing it.
Talking about this topic has the potential to get very heavy really fast. It’s one of the least desirable areas of life, and it applies to everyone. Self-sabotage is a natural thing. It impacts every area of our lives.
The skill of spotting self-sabotage and choosing to re-direct is important for everyone, because once you’re able to spot these habits before autopilot takes over, your biggest challenge becomes disaster prevention rather than recovery and rebuilding after total shipwreck.
If you’re looking to create something new in your life – usually better health, better relationships, or more money – spotting self-sabotage before it takes you off track is a skill you need to master. You’re getting your sword sharpened on the topic today! Take these steps to stop self-sabotage before it sinks your ship:
- Become aware of your patterns. Think back… What do your high points look like? Where are your lows? What steps happen in between, bringing you up and down over and over? Once you see how your unique patterns play out in your life, you’ll be much more able to spot them as they occur. Once you’re so familiar with your self-sabotaging behaviors and patterns that you can spot them in the moment, you’ve gained the power and awareness you need to make a different decision.
- Notice how fear pops up when you consider making a different choice. Recognize that it’s a good thing! It often means that you’re on the right track, even if it doesn’t feel like it. Fear responses are designed to keep us “safe”, and our animal brain has learned that our patterns are safe – that’s why we keep repeating them over and over again, no matter how much new pain they cause over time. When we consider something new, fear tries to scare us back into the pattern. Embrace the fear, try new choices anyway, and get support to help you see things clearly during this time.
- Remain persistent and focused on what you want to accomplish. Remember and develop the vision you’re working towards, especially when the going gets tough. Know that challenge and failure are important parts of the process. Remind yourself repeatedly that you deserve to reach your goals, and it’ll be safe to enjoy your accomplishments once you get there. Even once you reach your goals, you’ll find new ones to work towards, and that’s OK! You’ll always want more, and you’ll always have what you need to go out and get it.
Above all else, remember to take very good, loving care of yourself. This is challenging, brave, never-ending work, and practice IS perfect! Before you know it, you’ll be sailing in a straight line no matter what weather comes up. Good luck, and safe travels.