On Becoming Love: Find Divinity in Everyone You Meet

Becoming love is a necessary task right now, and finding the divinity in each other will help us get there.

Something I’ve come to strongly believe over time is that there’s a little bit of God (or however you understand divinity) inside of each of us.

becoming love
A snapshot behind the scenes while recording the free 5 Days of Wholeness experience.

As a Catholic-raised child who made it to Penance but never Confirmation… as someone who’s experienced great suffering in this life… and as someone who recognizes the hardships of the world more & more every day… I understand why some people cringe and balk at the word “God”. I used to be one of them.

But over time I’ve rebuilt a relationship with divinity that I can get behind. Recently this connection is growing deeper & deeper.

Becoming more loving & connecting with the love in others is not always easy.

It has taken me a lot of personal growth to connect with divinity in myself & others maybe 70% of the time, which is definitely a lifetime high for me.

It works in my favor that I’ve always had a strong, inherent belief in the infinite potential of people, and I engage with everyone from that place.

Through that practice I’ve witnessed over time how every single person has a lesson to offer me, regardless of their age, education, bank account, mental agility, emotional well-being, or any other part of their background.

But it hasn’t always been easy to forgive people when they don’t rise to the potential I see – especially with the people closest to me. I used to make myself and others wrong when my life experience wasn’t a perfect reflection of what I thought it should be.

Many of us learn to respond to mistakes, abnormalities, and anything “dark” or “negative” with shaming, suspicion, judgment, and ultimately repression. It takes a lot of intentional effort to interrupt that pattern, let go of our preconceived notions and get curious instead.

I’ve had to spend time with my own trauma to integrate it in healthy ways. I had to release my anger at God for creating so much pain in the world and learn how to love myself as is. I had to become willing to nurture myself back to wholeness after life broke me apart, as it does for all of us.

That process has included intentionally surrounding myself with a strong support system, intentionally connecting with other people, even when it feels really foreign and uncomfortable to me.

Photo by Fadi Xd on Unsplash

Recently this practice is becoming more spiritual, as I shift from engaging with people’s potential to engaging with their divine.

I’m taking my practice deeper as I remember that every time I’m in conversation with other people, I have an opportunity to talk directly to God.

Giving to others from a place of love is giving to God. I receive God’s love through the world & the people around me.

When we regard someone else with their divinity in mind, from a place of our own divine love, we experience our best selves & bring out the best in them too. We instantly change the tone of the entire room, the entire conversation, potentially that person’s entire life. I’ve experienced this time and time again.

People can feel when you’re respecting them on this level. There is no better feeling in the world, for everyone involved.

We can’t do this when we’re living scared and judgmental, when we’re playing out our lives based on unprocessed trauma. We can waste a lot of time on autopilot forgetting what’s right in front of us – the wonderfully important parts of this one life we’re living, with a very finite amount of moments to enjoy.

Becoming love is worth the time & effort it takes.

It might not always be the easy choice, but it always feels amazing… And for me, that’s the most important thing.

The FEELINGS of being alive are what make my life worth living. The feelings of love & connection. At the end of the day, that’s what I want & need in every moment… To feel something. Inspired, alive, peaceful, excited, terrified, deeply loving, deeply loved, eternally safe, irrevocably free. What I want and need specifically varies moment to moment, but my deep desire to feel somehow more or better stays the same.

That’s what I want in my life & that’s what I want for everyone around me – to simply feel better whenever you want to. So you can create the space you need to get in sync with life, and the divine in you can dance, laugh, play, & explore with the divine in me.

Conscious Wholeness offers me a staircase I can use to walk up to this higher perspective any time I want to.

becoming love
Photo by Ben Mater on Unsplash

Not in a way that ignores real sadness, hurt, violence and problems in the world, but in a way that helps me actually create the world around me with intention all the time. Regardless of how much money is in my bank account, what the world around me is doing, or what my situation is on any given day.

What helps you connect with divinity in others? Leave me a comment! I’d love to hear about it.

If you want more, consider checking out my first ever live stream on YouTube: Stay Safe, Spread Peace: Keep Your Cool in Moments of Conflict.

Subscribe over on YouTube to stay in the loop.

Sending lots of love, until next time.

Free Self Employment Lessons From Five Years In Business

At the beginning of March I quietly celebrated 5 years of self-employment. Now I’d love to celebrate this accomplishment with you.

self employment
Photo by Mike Palmowski on Unsplash

Self-employment has been a wild, twisting, turning, bumpy ride, and I’m really grateful to still be here. Not every business owner is so lucky; about 50% of businesses fail by this point.

In many ways I’m still brand new. In other ways I’m a completely different person than I was 5 years ago. I’m feeling so many noticeable shifts & growth happening at this point in my business.

Self-employment changes things.

So much of my energy has been spent unlearning the patterns and limitations that helped me “succeed” in the “real world”, just to stick with my ventures & keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Lots more energy has gone towards learning new things… Studying everything business related from copy-writing, sales, & small business law, to couples & trauma therapy techniques, to different meditation and movement styles, and more.

The highs and lows people talk about when it comes to self-employment and entrepreneurship are no joke.

Overall these past five years have been really hard, harder than I ever expected.

Here are some important lessons I’ve learned from self employment that I’m taking with me into the next five years.

I learned them the hard way, and I hope you won’t have to.

self employment
Photo by Shakti Rajpurohit on Unsplash
1. Be intentional.

This is going to be harder than it sounds, especially at first, when the newness of your situation creates all the upheaval that change brings.

When you’re feeling squeezed by the responsibility of your next paycheck, it might literally take all of your energy to slow down and put some deep thought into what you’re doing.

Being intentional will allow you to work SMARTER, so you can set yourself up for the business you ultimately want.

This requires a deep understanding of what’s important to you, and a plan that aligns with that, though the plan might be different than you think. I thought I had a great, thoughtful plan when I left my job in healthcare, but I didn’t.

Some core things that are important for you to understand right away –

What’s your budget and how will those funds be used?

Who are your clients? What problem are you addressing for them? How will you connect with them?

How far do you ultimately want to scale your idea?

Work with a clear vision of the end in mind. Make business decisions that support that end goal.

Slow down, get centered, get clear. Create an intentional plan and work it. Find strategies that work for you.

At the same time…

2. Be flexible.

You’re going to have a great plan, and it’s going to have to change, maybe often.

Great business leaders understand when and how to pivot.

It’s important to roll with the punches and keep moving forward without becoming too attached to anything that’s not working out the way you want it to.

Determine what the core values and pillars of your project are; those are the things that you NEED to align with to stay in integrity with your plan. Everything else needs to be fluid & flexible.

Flexibility is essential to expand quickly by making good swift use of the opportunities that come your way.

Your ability to adapt will make or break you when it comes to successful self-employment.

Flexibility will also allow you to connect with more people, and that’s important because…

3. You can’t do this alone.

Trust me, I understand the urge to do as much as possible by yourself.

I also know what it feels like when scarcity, competition, and trauma patterns change me into a different person who doesn’t play well with others.

At the end of the day, other business owners, even your competitors, are your friends. Align yourself with people who are working towards the same things. You simply can’t do everything on your own and you don’t have to.

Do be discerning about who you’re surrounding yourself with, but don’t shut yourself off from other people.

Figure out what your weak areas are and build a team that supports you where you need it.

Get very comfortable receiving input, guidance, and help.

Understand what you want and need from other people and start shamelessly asking for it. Get comfortable hearing the word “no” from people without letting it stop you.

The core support team you develop through self-employment might surprise you. Not everyone is going to understand what you’re up to, but some will. Keep them around.

On the other hand, knowing what to tune out is just as important because…

4. You are the secret ingredient in your own success.

I spent several years looking for the keys to my business’s success outside of myself.

I worked with a lot of coaches early on in self-employment. A lot of that work was incredibly supportive and essential… that being said, at a certain point I started to lose myself and get sidetracked by it.

Trying to fit into and follow what other people felt about me started to outshine what I understood about myself.

Understanding who you are, what you bring to the table, and how to channel your unique talents will allow you to take truly inspired actions and provide so much value in every interaction. Providing your value freely & providing people with memorable experiences will take you a long way in business.

Know this – you can trust your vision.

You are your own secret sauce. Surround yourself with people who help you tap into that.

Please don’t let that inner fire fizzle out.

5. You deserve to rest.

If you’re anything like me, it’ll be essential that you rest, maybe a lot, especially at first… and this will be hard for you to do.

It’ll help you come to the table every day, refreshed and ready, with your cup overflowing.

You need to be able to relax. Learn what you specifically need to find that balance in your life.

Breaks will make you more productive & creative. So go on, make sure your days are full of fun!

Make room to feel what you’re feeling and really enjoy your life as you build it.

I’ve found that embracing rest this way supports me in all the other lessons I’ve mentioned. When I’m resting, I reflect, I take my time, and naturally become more intentional. When I’m relaxed, I’m not only more receptive and flexible, but building rest into my schedule allows me to joyfully connect with my clients whenever they need me. I learn about myself and re-connect with myself when I take time to be with myself.

Seriously, please rest & take care of yourself as you pursue your passions. This will provide you with more and more goodness to give.

If I could go back 5 years and tell myself all this at the start of my self-employment journey, I would, but I’m not sure I would’ve listened. Will you?

To celebrate 5 years of self-employment, I’m offering a free 5-day Conscious Wholeness experience.


Register here.

Conscious Wholeness has changed the game for me when it comes to staying centered, focused, & calm through the throws of self-employment.

Whether you’re trying to contribute more by helping others, or trying to get your own two feet placed solidly on the ground, Conscious Wholeness can act as a core structure to lean on when you need more clarity, power, and energy to move forward.

Over 5 days with me you’ll experience the power of Conscious Wholeness practice.

I’ll be sharing new videos on YouTube containing short Conscious Wholeness practices every morning, and sharing a daily worksheet in your email inbox, all to give you a solid taste of what Conscious Wholeness practice is about. You’re free to connect with the others about your experience inside of my Facebook group The Cocoon, but you don’t have to.

Just subscribe to my YouTube channel and/or sign up here to stay in the loop.

When we’re done, the whole experience will be available forever inside of the Conscious Wholeness course.

What are your takeaways when it comes to successful self-employment? Will you join the celebratory 5-day experience? Please share in the comments! Sending lots of love until next time.

Master Your Inner Maze to Free the Best You

Master the inner maze of your mind body & energy to set your potential free with Conscious Wholeness.

inner maze
Photo by Willian Justen de Vasconcellos on Unsplash
Yes, you get it – you have mind, body, & energy all working inside of you.

You’ve heard these three words strung together on repeat for many years now.

You recognize these are important parts of your life… but HOW do you actually make them real? How do you use this knowledge to reduce your anxiety, or make more space for yourself? Is this truth making you feel more inspired in your day to day once the last epiphany moment wears off?

These answers have been a little elusive, making it hard to maintain a deeply felt sense of center in your life.

The more you explore, the more you’ve found that many wellness & success sources don’t have as much substance, honesty, and integrity behind them as you’d like.

It’s become exhausting to keep searching & searching… only to be surrounded by hustle porn & toxic positivity disguised as motivation, self-care to-do lists, and shallow anecdotes that skirt around the deeper points you’re really trying sink your teeth into.

What’s more rare to find are conversations that are simultaneously elevated & grounded. Both divinely inspiring AND full of real-world experience & implementation. Conversations that truly connect you to ALL THREE of these powerful resources you can always access inside of yourself – your mind, your body, and your energy.

If you’ve been seeking answers & conversations like these, my Conscious Wholeness course may offer a core piece of the inner experience you’ve been looking for.

This practice has a way of tying life together & filling in the gaps about what to do next and why, so you can feel the click-into-place you’re looking for right away.

When it comes to mastering your inner maze, the short answer is – you need to find what feels deeply, noticeably right for YOU and follow that, over and over again.

To find my truth at the center of the maze and live there, I’ve come to take the same three basic steps over and over again…

First I bring awareness to my thoughts, clear my mind of unhelpful thoughts, and choose thoughts that support and encourage me.

Then I get present in my body and make space for whatever I’m feeling. I feel it fully.

Finally, armed with the clarity that I’ve gained, I return to the world more firmly rooted in the person I aspire to be, drawing out the very best parts of the people around me in the process.

I know from personal experience that discerning what feels right can be complicated.

There are all sorts of memories with shame and judgments that have led us to hide from ourselves & everyone else. I need a system for “how” clearly broken down to bring my truth to light in a consistent way. In building that system for myself, I’m breaking it down for you, too.

Practicing Conscious Wholeness can help you clear up what’s clouding your profound sense of self-love, self-understanding, and wholeness.

The Conscious Wholeness content charts a course around your inner obstacles so you can connect to who you are & what you want at your core – inspiring you to take action from a centered knowing place. This takes your inner obstacles & turns them into resources you can use to make positive change in your life.

Conscious Wholeness in practice feels peaceful, spacious, free, and deeply loving. It allows you to clear the way for life’s pieces to fall into place around you.

Your practice will shine a light on your best next steps to truly satisfy your mental/spiritual/emotional curiosity. It’ll help you master the inner maze that has the potential to disorient you.

inner maze
Photo by Willian Justen de Vasconcellos on Unsplash

Quiet the inner noise & unlock your incredible power by practicing Conscious Wholeness today.

Reach out to info@briannamcinerny.com get connected, or go ahead and dive right in.

As little as a $5 donation will grant you access to all the content including all updates for life. If you want even more personalized support there are options for that too.

We have office hours tomorrow (and every Monday) at 1PM EST so now is the perfect time to get started.

Thank you for reading! Sending love & blessings, talk soon πŸ’œπŸ™πŸ™Œβœ¨

Slow Down: Celebrate With My Favorite Holiday Gift Recipes

Are belated holiday wishes a thing? They should be.

I’m still over here celebrating, wishing you lots of love & magic throughout the New Year.

Are you the sort of person who skips right to the recipes? I’m one of you.

We’ve got cranberry sauce and molasses cookies on the menu today. I’ve clearly marked their sections below. Enjoy!

For those of you who are willing to slow down and indulge in some holiday reminiscing, stick with me here for a few minutes…

This holiday season, I’ve been taking it slow quite a bit.

I’ve been taking my sweet time all season.

As many people moved past Thanksgiving and onto the next thing, we stuffed & roasted a turkey the following Sunday.

We cooked all of our favorite side dishes throughout the following week and enjoyed a delicious turkey noodle soup with the bone broth & the leftover turkey.

We brought out our Christmas tree maybe 5 days before Christmas, and it’s still sitting there, comfortably glowing but mostly un-decorated.

slow down

I’ve allowed the present moment to sweep me away from things like social media much more often, spending a lot more time journaling and sewing parked on the couch.

The only thing done early this year was my holiday shopping. I had more to give this year than in recent years and that was a huge blessing I know not everybody had.

My slow lazy-river approach to this holiday season has felt incredible.

In Conscious Wholeness, we practice intentional slow downs as a step towards making our thoughts work for us. We also recognize going slow as an essential part of sinking deeper and deeper into our own skin.

This tactic gives a lot of bang for your buck. It’s key for me in maximizing productivity and efficiency with everything I do.

Plus, I find myself needing way more time & space than usual this year anyway. Living through a pandemic has made this year’s holidays exhausting and weird in so many ways. It has been different for sure.

During this slow-for-me holiday season that’s been different than any other, I found more time to notice what I truly, deeply value in every holiday season.

The collective magic of the holidays is irreplaceable, as generosity, traditions, rituals, creativity, togetherness, innocence, and imagination fill the air.

This year I’ve noticed not only how magic is an important part of the holidays; I’ve recognized on a new level that everyday magic exists all around us when we’re willing to be an active part of the process.

While riding in the slow lane, endless synchronicity and happy accidents let me know everything is working out for me, when I’m willing to let it.

slow down
Like when I brought home this beautiful amaryllis, bonked the flower off on the doorway walking it inside, and let it become my favorite kitchen decoration while the rest of the plant lives in the living room.

That’s the sort of magic that can come alive this time of year, every year, as the world gathers to celebrate.

The deep love of the season is unlike any other too, as we feel gratitude for what we have, long for what we’ve lost, and sit with what we want for ourselves in the future.

Even though this year was complicated, and my late-to-the-game slow approach might seem lackadaisical to outsiders, my winter slow down hasn’t lacked at all in magic or love, so it’s felt more perfect than I could ever imagine.

It’s reminded me that magic, loving vibes like this are available to us all the time, simply by deciding on what’s meant for us in life, and intentionally believing that we will have it, so we’ll do whatever we need to do to bring those desires to life.

I know not everyone feels this way during the holiday season, even on a normal year. Many people feel immense grief, sadness, pain, and loneliness too. I’ve been there, and fully believe we can experience the whole range of human emotions all at once.

I suspect that’s why this year felt so good – because I allowed myself to slow down and lean into ALL of it, without rushing it along.

My Conscious Wholeness practice constantly reminds me that these emotions are all facets of love, as long as they’re sincere.

As I allow myself to drag it all out, taking everything in until I’m overflowing with the nourishment each experience provides, it’s giving me the time & space I need to replenish myself from the shit show of 2020, and I’m walking into next year feeling so full.

I hope you’ll consider lingering in the spirit with me this year by trying a couple of my favorite holiday recipes.

Speaking of recipes, one more thing before we dive in…

Something you should know about me is that I’m *always* going to encourage you to do things your way.

Whether it’s inside of Conscious Wholeness, during a New Year tarot spread, or a trying recipe for something delicious, the key ingredients for more magic & love in your life all live within YOU. They depend on your own unique flair, your personal spin on things.

So, please…

Play with substitutions especially when it helps you avoid a trip to the grocery store or uses up something that needs to be used up.

Don’t be afraid of getting creative while you cook. Follow where the spirit takes you.

Do what feels right. If you want to try something different, do it. Come back and let me know how it goes!

Creative cooking is one of my favorite parts of life. It’s one of my favorite outcomes & practices of Conscious Wholeness.

Cooking feels like a way to love myself & my people. It has become a practice of communion for myself & my body. The people around me always benefit too!

The two recipes I have for you today come straight from my heart to you, and I hope you’ll receive them as a gift from me this holiday season.

When you slow down and infuse your own love & magic into every step of the process, your loved ones are sure to rave about the end result!

Crave-worthy Cranberry Sauce

For the past 7 years or so I’ve enjoyed cranberry sauce all winter long.

cranberry sauce recipe

That year, I had a hankering for some *real* cranberry sauce.

Despite what you might think with me growing up until age 12 in Massachusetts, always loving tart cranberry juice, and indulging in cranberry pancakes quite often during my college days in Boston, I never had real cranberry sauce at the holiday table until I started making it myself.

I’d tried the canned stuff a bunch of times – and if you’re a lover of the can cran, I hear you. I will not try to sway you. Other than to say that if any homemade cranberry sauce can make a believer out of you, this is it.

I’ve seen it happen time & time again.

I started bringing cranberry sauce to Thanksgiving because I wanted it myself, and my people also loved it. I refined & experimented every year, and a few years in, people started asking for it.

My younger step brother is a huge fan. It’s always a hit at a party as an appetizer served with cream cheese and crackers. My sweetheart who hates cranberry sauce of all varieties has actually tried it and said it’s not bad.

Believe it or not, this cranberry sauce is a crowd-pleaser.

At this point you might be asking… “does she load it with extra sugar?”. I don’t!

Here’s my “big secret” that I tell anyone who’ll listen – maple syrup.

slow drip maple syrup

Using maple syrup instead of sugar gives my cranberry sauce this nice, subtle, earthy sweetness that feels like a big hug from the spirit of winter itself.

You might be surprised to find it’s exactly what your body craves this time of year.

I constantly make this stuff to keep it in the fridge all winter long. For the first time this year, I gave a few batches out as gifts for the people who really love it.

I hear debates have started over the leftover cranberry sauce and how it should be portioned out to each member of the household.

At this point it might sound suspicious. Is it even possible for people to fight over cranberry sauce like Rachel & Chandler fought over cheesecake? I don’t know, I guess you’ll just have to try it out & see for yourself!

Get those cranberries ready! Rinse them off.

In a saucepan, combine equal amounts of water and your sugar of choice.

Again, I love maple syrup here, but you can use regular sugar if you prefer, or a combination of the two. When I’m making this for a group, I usually do a combination of maple syrup and raw cane sugar.

It’s very easy to cut down on the sugar without compromising on the taste; I tend to use about 1/2 or 3/4 the amount of sugar, especially when I’m making it just for myself.

Heat the sugar water saucepan over medium-high heat while stirring to dissolve the sugar.

Once the water is steaming it’s time to add your fresh cranberries, along with a pureed orange and all the spices you’d like to use.

(I love ordering organic produce & spices from Misfits Market – this link will give you 50% your first box, and I’ll get 50% off my next box, too!)

I typically use cinnamon & cloves. This year I had some fresh ginger on hand so I zested some of that into the mix too.

Do you like spicy? Chop up some jalapenos & add them! Here’s a strawberry jalapeno cranberry sauce I made last year. It was delicious.

Give it a good stir and let everything heat back up.

Within a few minutes you’ll start to hear the cranberries popping as the liquid starts to boil.

That’s when you cover that red pot of vibrant berry goodness and turn the heat way down to low. Let it simmer for a while until it reaches the consistency you’d like.

Then…. voila. You’re done!


  • 1 cup water
  • 1 cup sugar of choice (I like to use maple syrup or a combination of maple syrup and raw cane sugar)
  • 12 oz package of cranberries
  • 1 medium orange, peeled & pureed
  • 1 cinnamon stick or 1 tbsp ground cinnamon
  • optional to taste – ground cloves, ginger, orange zest, dried fruit, apple, jalapenos… get creative!


  • Rinse & quality check your cranberries; toss anything that’s too soft or way off in color
  • Combine water and sugar in medium saucepan
  • Heat until steaming over medium-high heat, stirring to dissolve sugar
  • Add cranberries, orange, spices, and additions of choice, stir well to incorporate
  • Continue stirring nice and slow while the berries heat up, until you start to hear them popping
  • Turn heat down as low as possible & cover.
  • Simmer stirring occasionally until the cranberries have broken down to your desired consistency, bearing in mind that they will continue to break down a bit while they cool. Keep your eye on your stove to make sure you don’t overflow!

Let cool and enjoy however floats your boat! I love eating this like jelly on toast, mixed with applesauce, with ice cream, with cream cheese & crackers, or by the spoonful. Store in the fridge! I hear it freezes into individual servings well, too.

Next up…

Molten Molasses Cookies

It all started years ago with a desire to bake molasses cookies and this recipe from Just A Pinch.

molasses cookies

I still mostly follow the same recipe, with one main difference – now I substitute oat flour for some of the all-purpose flour, and I bake at a higher temperature.

The oat flour substitution was a happy accident last year when I didn’t have enough all-purpose flour mid-cookie-baking. Upon this realization, I raided the pantry, threw some rolled oats into my food processor and used those instead. The results were delicious so I did the same thing this year!

These have become a holiday season necessity. They’re the only thing my step-dad asks for every year.

I usually make a huge batch and rarely have any left for myself after rationing out as many gift jars as possible. During this strange lonely year we actually have some leftover cookies! They’re destined to become ice cream sandwiches tonight. We’ll see how that goes.

If you need some cookies to round out your holiday season, look no further. These babies will do the trick and then some. Just be sure to bake enough to share!

Here’s how to make em…

I like to get all my ingredients out ahead of time, and put them away as I go. (You can find the ingredients all listed below). If you’re anything like me, your prep spread will almost always include a delicious stout.
slow molasses pour
First, put all the wet ingredients together in a large bowl.

Make sure to slow down and enjoy a sumptuous molasses pour!

Mix all of that together with a hand mixer. I use a hand-me-down hand mixer that must be from the 80’s, and I used a whisk for years so that’s also an option. If you have a fancy mixer, by all means, break it out!
If you use a mixer, you’ll have this lovely cloud of whipped sugar when your done.
Then, add the baking soda, salt, and spices. Stir them in.
You could also mix all the dry ingredients (including the flour) separately like the original recipe suggests, but I’m a sucker for one-bowl whenever possible – less dishes!

Now’s the time to mix in the flour bit by bit.

If you’re mixing by hand, you might want to give up around now, especially if you’ve made 3-5 times the recipe like I usually do. It’s a bit of a process and your arm might get tired. You can do it! Keep going! It’ll be so satisfying when you finally have no visible flour left, only soft, dark brown molasses dough (maybe with some oat chunks starring that molasses sky if you used oats or oat flour).

Look at your accomplishment with pride, snap a photo (please, because I never remember to), cover the bowl with some saran wrap, and let it sit in the fridge for a couple of hours while you go take a break.

After you’ve let your dough chill out for a bit in the fridge, it’s time to form your cookies.

You’ve probably done this before right? If this is your first time baking cookies… Yay!! Congratulations.

You’re gonna want to preheat your oven now.

For years, I’ve followed Just A Pinch’s recipe and baked at 375*. This year, I wanted to experiment. I wanted a crispy exterior and a molten soft just-barely-done ooey-gooey sort of center, so I cranked up my oven to 450* and shortened the bake time just a bit. They were delicious.

How do you like your cookies? Make them perfect for you.

Get out a couple of cookie sheets and line them with parchment.

You’re going to need a little bowl of sugar for dipping the tops of the cookies and a little bowl of water too. Get those ready and set them somewhere between your cookie sheets and wherever your bowl of dough will sit. Now grab that dough out of the fridge.

And we’re off to the races. You have officially transformed into a molasses cookie production line. Please be as slow, messy, and leisurely about the process as you’d like.

Shape your dough into balls, dip the tops into sugar, and set them on your baking sheet. Depending on the size of your cookies, you could have anywhere from 6-12 cookies. (My cookies have rarely been small enough to get 12)!

Right before you put the baking sheets into your preheated oven, dip your clean fingers into your water bowl and let a few drops of water fall onto the sugared tops of each cookie.

Bake 9-12 minutes. If you have multiple pans, rotate them in the oven (turn the sheets, switch racks) when you have a few minutes left.

For many years I rolled the dough into perfectly beautiful spheres, then cooked them at 375* (pictured above).
molasses cookie recipe
This year, I used an ice cream scoop, worked them together just slightly, and plopped em on the cookie sheet (after dipping the tops in sugar). Baked at 450*, they are crispy and darker on the outside, delightfully soft on the inside, and a little rough around the edges. Perfect for me!

What will make these cookies perfect for you? Don’t forget to add all your love (in the form of however you’re genuinely feeling) to make these magic!


  • 3/4 cup solid shortening
  • 1 cup brown sugar, firmly packed
  • 1 egg
  • 1/4 cup molasses
  • 2 1/4 cups flour of choice (I use about 2/3 all-purpose & 1/3 oat)
  • 2 tsp baking soda
  • 1/4 tsp salt
  • 1/2 tsp cloves
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 1 tsp ginger
  • 1/4 cup raw sugar for dipping the tops of the cookies


  • In a large bowl mix wet ingredients (shortening, sugar, molasses, egg) with a hand mixer
  • Stir in baking soda, salt, and spices
  • Stir in flour until well combined
  • Chill dough
  • Preheat oven – 450* if you like a crispy outside & gooey inside like me, or 375* if you’d prefer a more uniform while still very moist and delicious cookie
  • Line baking sheets with parchment
  • Prepare two small bowls, one with sugar and one with water
  • Start forming the cookies; separate dough into balls, dip tops into sugar, and line em up on the parchment lined baking sheet
  • When the trays are full & ready to go in the oven, sprinkle a few drops of water on the top of each cookie
  • Pop them in the preheated oven for about 10 minutes. In a 450* oven, your cookies will be dark toasty brown and borderline burnt on the bottom by the time the insides are cooked through. In a 375* oven, you’ll want to take the cookies out when they’re just set on the top & starting to brown on the bottom. Either way, start keeping a close eye on them around 8-10 minutes.

Let cool & enjoy!

I make 3x to 5x this recipe every year to fill up mason jars & give as gifts. They’re absolutely delicious enjoyed nice and slow, dipped into your morning coffee. Because, who doesn’t eat cookies for breakfast all winter long?

Nothing gets me craving vegetables for lunch like having cookies for breakfast.

slow down

So how about it? Will you slow down and celebrate with me?

If you try these recipes out, let me know how it goes! Leave me a comment or tag me @briannamcinerny on social media.

And as always, I so appreciate you being here. Until next time.

Can’t wait til next time?

Book a coffee chat with me here.

Join my online course & community Conscious Wholeness to sidestep the boredom & knee-jerk patterns in your life & become way more intentional about how you’re using your mind, body, and energy.

Or book an Epiphany Session with S.L.I.C.E. Inspiration & Consulting to create clarity & momentum that’ll set you up for success with all of your creative endeavors.

Finding True Spirituality In a World Full of False Light

True spirituality is available all around us, when we know where to look.

true spirituality
When I’m struggling to find true spirituality in the big picture, I can always find it in life’s smallest details.

Some of 2020’s biggest disappointments for me have included witnessing some “New Age” and “spiritual” communities’ responses to world events.

Way back in March, before we watched Ahmaud Arbery & George Floyd die on our screens, I noticed several of my new-age-y spiritual acquaintances dropping off of my friends list as I questioned their beliefs about conspiracy theories related to COVID-19.

I’ve really enjoyed this podcast recently that analyzes the phenomenon called Conspirituality.

Its been relieving to see that most of my own beloved leaders haven’t fallen to this trend. This time has also revealed plenty of new leaders for me to trust and follow.

Still, it’s been incredibly disappointing to see science & social issues denied by sometimes widely respected “holistic” & “spiritual” leaders. Disappointing, yes, but I guess it’s not surprising.

This isn’t the first time the spiritual community has let me down. Maybe you can relate.

I will always remember when my Sunday school teacher couldn’t tolerate my plethora of questions. “Why does hell exist if God forgives everyone?”

I remember the feeling of betrayal I felt as an adolescent when my therapist suggested her incongruous spiritual beliefs to me. I never returned even though I desperately needed help. That moment inspired me to pursue my own career in mental health.

The way that some organized religions perpetuate racism and homophobia and other hateful, oppressive viewpoints has never felt right to me. Houses of worship should be full of acceptance and free of judgment, but in practice it’s often the reverse.

Fast forward to now, with some religious leaders preaching “faith over fear” as their religious services become super-spreader events for COVID-19, and some spiritual/holistic white women clinging to “love & light” rather than addressing the realities of systemic oppression.

Cult dynamics founded on charisma and groupthink run rampant in spiritual communities.

For much of my life, I’ve steered clear, staying incredibly selective about the spiritual paths I engage with.

That being said, I am still a spiritual person, because my spirit is too strong to deny.

As an adult I aim to be more accepting, forgiving, and open. I find spirituality in things like tarot, ritual, and meditation. I’m also a critically thinking person who questions our system, does my own research, and values science.

Why should we have to choose between spirituality or science & social responsibility? Seems to me that these things are better together.

So, I’ve been thinking about spirituality and discernment… what are the indicators of real, felt, beneficial spirituality? What signs tell us we should turn and run in the opposite direction?

true spirituality

Here are some of the things that resonate with me when it comes to spirituality.

Any true spiritual methodology has serious intricacy & depth. It helps us lovingly navigate our way through life’s challenging gray area rather than forcing us to think in black & white.

Any school of though that ignores the depth of the physical – including pain and hardship that comes with living on earth, and the imbalances we’re causing in the physical world – is incomplete. It’s tone deaf, and ultimately, does more harm than good.

True spirituality is healing. It’s a refuge & a sanctuary for those who have been victimized & traumatized – it doesn’t traumatize & re-traumatize everyone who engages with it.

True spirituality nurtures healthy interdependence with the world around us, not dysfunctional co-dependence with a specific leader or school of thought.

It offers MORE ways to love each other, not more reasons to shame & judge.

It offers hope for those who are downtrodden, not blame.

True spirituality welcomes curiosity rather than shutting it down.

Something tells me that your body knows this is true.

Your body is tired of false light methods, tired of all the lies and bull flying around in the world, tired of those methods that tell you to try and silence or escape your body’s experience.

True spirituality helps you make a positive impact on your world by using the guidance of your sacred body – not in spite of it.

As a collective, we need to stop glorifying ideas (even seemingly “spiritual” ones) over the lived experiences of other people, the planet and our physical selves…

So we can cherish this life we’ve been given and leave the Earth (not just our own estate) truly better off for having had us.

You are divine. I am divine. The most deeply felt spiritual experiences I’ve had, the most profound wisdom I’ve received, re-connects me to that fact.

What does your discernment tell you about true spirituality? How do you weave spirituality into your life? What does true spirituality look like & feel like for you?

Conscious Wholeness is how I systematize the groundwork that needs to be done on a regular basis to connect to my spirituality, manage my self-care, fall more deeply in love with myself, and nurture my relationship with the earth.

It’s how I connect with my own inner wise elder & how I strengthen my discernment about who & what to believe… From a place of truth instead of trauma.

It’s a process I follow that unleashes inspiration, expands my edges, and refines my focus.

It’s a framework I fall back on when I want to feel more connected & supported in any area of my life.

It always shows me the way back to myself. I created the Conscious Wholeness course to provide you with this framework, too. I offer lifetime access at an accessible price, always with room to grow.

My clients have shared that Conscious Wholeness helps them dive deeper into connection with their own unique spiritual beliefs – even if those beliefs are totally different than mine.

If you are looking for ways to go deeper with yourself spiritually, or if you want to weave more of your spirituality into your work, I would love to connect with you.

At the very least, I hope you will make it a point to discern the false lights in your world and connect with true spirituality in whatever ways feel best for you today.

I’m sending lots of love, until next time. Thank you for reading.

Move Through Resistance and Show Up to The Work

Showing up to the work of Conscious Wholeness still feels hard for me and requires me to move through resistance every single day.

move through resistance
morning writing with Maynard
This is something I’ve noticed recently during my morning writing routine.

Once I do show up for myself, the work is easy.

When I finally move through the resistance, it always feels so much better on the other side. It always seems silly that I resisted myself for so long.

Maybe you don’t call it Conscious Wholeness, but I’m sure you can relate to the sentiment of “the deep work”… the curiosities that are calling you further into your own self-awareness, whether or not you’re ready to “go there”.

Moving through the resistance to start is hardest part of the whole thing, time and time again.

move through resistance
Instead of fighting against resistance, I find it faster & more useful to relax into it.

As the creator of the Conscious Wholeness course, resistance to the deep work has held me back at times.

It took me awhile to fully realize that I was wading through huge amounts of resistance to do this work. Every time I timestamp or edit or go back to the videos to make a personalized recommendation it requires me to take the information in again. Every time I refine one of the worksheets it takes me a little deeper into my unknown self.

I guarantee I’ve engaged with this content more than anyone else in the course, and I’m the one who delivered it!! I’ve been intentionally diving head first into personal growth for more than a decade.

Still, I come away with something new every single time I show up – and I still need to overcome my own resistance daily to harvest the fruits of that labor.

When I move through resistance and do the deep work…

I find the inspiration I need to embrace more of my personal power and responsibility in a way that feels good.

I always come away feeling noticeably better than I did before.

And I notice more and more opportunities to put the Conscious Wholeness tools to work in my life, in new & expansive ways.

Still, I resist, and the resistance can be painful.

I resist in part because I personally resist structure. I’m rebellious. Anything that’s one-size-fits-all seems suspect, even if I created it. πŸ˜‚ (The only reason this works is because I encourage you to put your spin on it every step of the way).

I must always resist my own knee-jerk reaction to put my feelings away in a locked box, even when I know Conscious Wholeness is only taking me deeper and deeper into them every time.

It still feels scary to listen to the weird AF signals my body is sending me. Part of me is always afraid of what I might find or what might have to change.

Resistance and fear can be even more painful & distracting than puppy teeth!

When I let my resistance go on for too long without facing it head on, fear & anxiety start to take over.

I start making choices based around what I “should” do, instead of following what feels right for me.

I find myself a little too comfy smack dab in the middle of my “comfort zone”, even if it’s not feeling comfortable at all anymore, auto-piloting through my habitual patterns. Moving through the resistance only feels harder and harder the longer it goes unaddressed.

Still, here I am, years later, persistent about showing up to do the work more and more every day. Because every time I do move through resistance and show up, I also notice…

Real, deep, supportive LOVE that’s sourced from the inside is becoming a stronger baseline in my life, and it’s not conditional or dependent on anyone or anything else.

I can keep myself well resourced & ready no matter what’s going on around me by tapping back into this love any time – regardless of my relationship status, my financial status, or my physical energy level.

I have better tools to deal with challenging emotions and problems that come up in my life. Since I have the tools, I don’t need to sweep so much under the rug, and I get to create a life that truly works for me every step of the way.

My practice brings me right to the core of who I am in the world, and I come away inspired about what I need to do next.

All of this has a positive impact on every single area of my life, over and over again.

It brings me a lasting sense of peace that keeps me grounded & focused even when the world around me is chaotic.

It arms me with the clarity & passion to put in work every day for what’s really important to me.

I feel so much more connected to a sense of oneness and powerful faith – starting with faith in myself.

And my relationships with everything outside of myself – my family, my friendships, my home, my career – are set up to thrive and persevere no matter what.

As someone who has always been motivated towards personal growth so I can better help other people, the best part of practicing Conscious Wholeness is noticing the impact on the people around me.

The people who aren’t good for me naturally fall off, and my soul people come out of the woodwork.

They start saying the things that I really want and need to hear from them, sometimes without me even asking them to.

I see them stepping up to their life & thriving more and more.

They self-sabotage less, collaborate with me more, embrace more of their own deepest desires, and practice more of their natural creativity.

Most importantly, I’m able to be more genuinely encouraging of them, the more I’m working Conscious Wholeness… the more I’m allowing all the awareness, desires, and inspiration that come with it.

The resistance is getting easier & easier to move through, because man, is it worth it. I see the evidence all around me.

showing up to the work
Are you ready to show up?

Remember how I said before I love helping people? This is the best way I know how.

Doing the deep work to get our inner ducks in a row is always the first step.

Identifying what we want, where our hangups are, and lining up with what we actually want – mind, body, and energy.

Accepting the way things are right now. Believing in ourselves. Knowing what we want. Listening to our bodies. Clearing up and leveraging the power of our energy. Setting boundaries. Taking inspired action and trusting the process.

These are the sorts of things that I break down step-by-step in Conscious Wholeness.

Conscious Wholeness is something that everyone has, and everyone does – I just find that having it broken down like this makes practicing so much easier, faster, and kind of a no-brainer.

It takes away some struggle and confusion and offers up fuller plates of the good stuff – epiphanies, opportunities, magic, etc – all in endless supply.

A strong foundation of willingness & systems for doing our own deep inner work sets us up to be successful in all the other work that life requires from us… the work of building careers, being in intimate and professional relationships, providing value to the world, becoming a better human every day.

For instance, Conscious Wholeness has naturally paved the way for me to continue taking on very necessary anti-racism work. This is an excerpt from Me and White Supremacy by Layla F Saad.

Conscious Wholeness nurtures a deep love for & belief in myself, which makes me want to be a better lover of and believer in others. And, honestly, this is what the world absolutely needs from all of us right now. When we better love ourselves, we better love each other, and we better love the planet that is our shared home.

So, even if this isn’t for you, I do hope you’ll still find ways to love yourself more fully today. πŸ’œπŸ’œ

If you’re feeling called to more, and you’re ready to move through resistance, I would so love for you to join me inside of Conscious Wholeness.

Need to talk it out? Set up a time to connect with me today.

Sending so much love until next time.

Digging Out Guidance from Inside

When times get rough, rely on guidance from inside.

answers inside

When we’ve lost our job, or a loved one, when the world makes no sense & it’s not clear who to trust, or if we’ve simply followed our intended path all the way to the end & our destination doesn’t look like we thought it would, it’s natural to start looking for answers. We start asking things like “why?” and “what now?”…

Many of us have a tendency to look for these answers outside of ourselves.

We just want someone to tell us what to do. We want external gratification & validation. The perfect dose of motivational porn, the newest school of thought, the next amazing healing, or the perfect person, opportunity or experience…

Anything that’ll deliver our “golden ticket” moment of clarity and turn everything around for us. We want someone to come save us. We want the universe to swoop in with a solution.

Whatever we think we need, we want it yesterday.

Outside information & support is necessary, and it *can* be incredibly helpful – when sought, received, & navigated wisely.

Lord knows you deserve all the support you can handle along your journey. The universe is more than happy to help you along the way.

That being said, the whys in your life & how to move forward towards what you really want always lives inside of YOU.

You and you alone have the information & awareness to connect with your next best step. You and you alone can cultivate willingness to dig out & act on guidance from inside of you. Period.

Following anything else won’t get you where you want to go – definitely not if you’re following without a firm footing in yourself to move from first.

Following guidance from inside isn’t always straightforward or easy.

We have all kinds of internal barriers protecting us from our deepest, most critical information. We have barriers that prevent us from going deeper with ourselves to dig up the truth. These defenses come at us fully loaded.

For starters, our society systematically separates us from our inner guidance – so we can “fit in”, work on the system’s schedule & spend our money to keep the machine turning as fast as the powerful want it to turn.

Basically from conception, we start learning exactly how to suppress ourselves so we can conform with the world around us, & justify it to ourselves however we need to.

Doing something else *is* scary for so many reasons. To shed our conditioning feels like we’re facing death and excommunication – that’s how scary it feels to the deepest parts of ourselves. This fear keeps many people safely stuck.

We have all sorts of ways to keep ourselves distracted.

Different parts of us send us on wild self-sabotaging goose chases. Loaded emotional patterns keep playing themselves out, confusing us & taking us out. We simply can’t find the energy to show up the way we want to.

If you’re anything like me, this stuckness is deeply unsatisfying. You want more.

There’s a way out of this vicious cycle…

It’s understanding exactly *how* to navigate through those inner barriers & find guidance inside – quickly – so we can discern our inner truth to lead us forward. Then, continuing to lean on that solid understanding & inner truth to choose the right-for-us move at any time – whether it’s heeding the perfect advice, setting a new boundary, enlisting the right support, or taking the most powerful & perfect-in-the-moment inspired action.

When we can break it down and understand HOW to better leverage our complete inner wholeness any time, making great choices becomes easier.

I call this Conscious Wholeness:

Choosing thoughts that support me & provide what I need to take a step forward.

Using my body as a wand that moves mountains, parts seas, and summons whatever I want in the world.

Intentionally focusing my energy in the moment on whatever I’m consciously choosing.

Anyone can do this and benefit from it. What does Conscious Wholeness look like for you?

When we practice this over and over, we can spend less & less time circling the truth, and more & more time actually *feeling* it in a lasting, impactful way.

By putting our understanding to use in our lives, we can reprogram ourselves so that finding guidance from inside is our default. When we do this, we give ourselves the power to make a significant difference in our OWN lives any time we choose.

Flowers for you. <3

An ever-deeper breakdown of HOW to go deeper into yourself, to go farther, faster, more consistently in your life & work is what I provide in my self-study course Conscious Wholeness.

I want to help you find answers inside about the “something more” you’re looking for, and make the process enjoyable for you NOW.

I want to lead you over & around those inner barriers to the hidden places where the “more” you’re looking for is already living inside of you.

Sorting ourselves out like this creates space for the outside world to organize around us perfectly.

Man oh man, does the world need this from us right now. Are you doing this work?? Give me some love & encouragement in the comments!

Where are you holding yourself back from your truth right now? What could bring you closer to your own truth today?

Would you love to go there with me? We’d love to have you in Conscious Wholeness – or check out the Work With Me page for other ways to connect. Feel free to message me any time for help finding the right support for you – info@briannamcinerny.com .

Sending lots of love always. Until next time. πŸ’œπŸ’œ

The Time for Change is Now

This is the beginning of the end.

As I welcome myself back into my online/social media spaces after weeks of spotlighting exclusively Black voices, I need you to know that I’m not looking away. Never again. The time for change is now.

I feel an unshakeable obligation to support this revolution. The call is coming from deep inside the Earth, from deep inside of me… not from any other person, group, entity, or news source that I follow. Can you feel it?

It’s time to create something different.

The time for change is now.

Its time to correct the mistakes white people made when we busted into this country & claimed it as our own… mistakes we were making long before that. Mistakes we’re still making today.

It’s time for systems that support ALL current & aspiring Americans equally. It’s time to dismantle the systems that don’t.

Guess what – that’s ALL of the systems we have – law enforcement & justice, healthcare (including mental healthcare & social work), welfare, education, etc… ALL of them require deep-down change. It’s time for our systems to serve WE THE PEOPLE more than they serve the powers of patriarchy, white supremacy, capitalism… Capitalism as we know it, the grease that keeps all these old wheels turning… grinding most of us down to nothing to hold up the club at the top.

Change is needed on an individual level inside of ALL of us. Change is needed socially in how we interact with each other & intermingle our cultures.

It’s not just racism or capitalism, it’s sexism, it’s ableism, it’s colonialism, etc…

The time for change is NOW.

The time for change is now

It’s time for us to CHOOSE what we want & stand for it, rather than defaulting to the status quo.

Time to dig deep, find our truth & do whatever is needed to support it.

It’s time to reimagine what this world can be like, what we can become when we work together towards a common goal… True FREEDOM for ALL.

We won’t be scared & silenced.

We’ll stand powerfully in the truth of what we’re fighting for. We won’t back down.

What we’re up against is completely devastating, but I’m not looking away anymore.

Time to stay focused & keep momentum.

The time for change is now.

We need to be having these conversations constantly until we’ve accomplished our universal goal of true freedom for all. Isn’t that what America is supposed to be about, anyway?

“O, let America be America againβ€”
The land that never has been yetβ€”
And yet must beβ€”the land where every man is free.” – Langston Hughes

My role here is to inspire you and to provide guidance in moments when you need to dig a little deeper to find the truth inside of yourself. I’m willing to lead, especially in that regard – providing mental, emotional, & spiritual support that is truly available for all. I would love to help you strategize around your projects that are focused on the collective good, in a way that really nurtures who you are & who you want to be.

I’m ready to shine a flashlight on our truths & stand together for our future.

That being said, we all need to explore a wide range of perspectives on a regular basis to find what’s really true & right for us.

I invite you to explore, follow, and support the work of these Black leaders.

Some do what I do or similar, others can guide your more specific actions towards racial/economic equality. There are some amazing Black-owned businesses you can support here & podcasts you can listen to. Check ’em out:

Here’s a directory of Black therapists all over the country.

Nedra Glover Tawwab – owner & therapist at Kaleidoscope Counseling & content creator – @nedratawwab

Aycee Brown – spiritual guide, coach, & entrepreneur, owner at Goodnight Darling Co. – @ayceebrown

Rachel Cargle – academic, activist, and lecturer, founder of The Loveland Foundation & The Great Unlearn – @rachel.cargle @thegreatunlearn

Brandon Kyle Goodman – writer, actor, speaker, and activist who’s videos addressing his white friends (with the added perspective of having a white husband) have gone viral in recent weeks – @brandonkgood

Sonya Renee Taylor – poet, activist, author, and leader, founder of The Body Is Not An Apology – @sonyareneetaylor @thebodyisnotanapology

Layla F. Saad – author, speaker, & teacher at the Good Ancestor Academy – @laylafsaad

No White Saviors – an advocacy campaign to call-out the White Savior Complex (WSC) & create a new normal in Africa that casts Africans as the heroes of their own story – @nowhitesaviors

Brittany Packnett Cunningham – activist, educator, & writer – @mspackyetti

The Conscious Kid – an education, research, and policy organization dedicated to equity and promoting positive racial identity development in youth – @theconsciouskid

Austin Channing Brown – media producer, author, & speaker – @austinchanning

Erica LeShai – musical artist & producer, owner of Jovi Shai beauty – @ericaleshai

Ibram X. Kendi – historian, writer, speaker, and founder of Boston University’s Center for Antiracist Research – @ibramxk

Imani Olear – pastor, speaker, mentor, founder of Yoga 4 a Good Hood – @faithhadahouse @yoga4agoodhood

Akilah Green – lawyer turned comedy writer – @akilahgreen

Black Visions Collective – an organization dedicated to Black liberation and to collective liberation based in Minnesota – @blackvisionscollective

Until Freedom – social justice organization addressing systemic & racial injustice – @untilfreedom

The Black Detour – an independent media outlet that centers the Black community & issues that impact them – @theblackdetour

Evyan Whitney – sex educator & facilitator – @evyan.whitney

Andre Henry – writer, musician – @theandrehenry

Find voices that resonate & challenge you, and lend your support when you’re inspired to. Choose to prioritize economic equality with your dollars.

This list obviously isn’t exhaustive. What Black leaders impact your life? What are your favorite Black-owned organizations, artists, & businesses? Who do we need to be listening to right now? Please share in the comments or email me – info@briannamcinerny.com – & let me know who I need to add to the list.

Let’s all uplift Black people more intentionally moving forward.

And more so, let’s let the Black experience deep into our hearts, in a way that keeps us standing up for what’s right. Standing up for them is standing up for every single one of us.

As always, you can connect with me anytime. Take care. <3Β 

Quarantine 2020: Anxiety To Conscious Wholeness

Friendly reminder: whatever you’re experiencing right now is OK.

Whatever emotions are involved. Full-spectrum – complete bliss, to angry, to awful, and everything in between.

However inspired & productive you’re feeling, even if not at all.

If you’re pulled towards rest.

Whether you’re connecting virtually or isolating even more than you need to, or if you don’t have the luxury of isolating at all.

Any challenges or disagreements you’re having.

If you’re feeling lonely, or like you can’t get a moment alone. Or both.

If your life, relationships, and business are doing better than before, or if everything is in the gutter…

It’s ok, babe – it’s all gravy. There’s no need to judge.

quarantine conscious wholeness
I took this photo a few weeks ago. It was mid-first-week-of-self-quarantine and the vast uncertainty/fear in our world was getting to me. I was sad, scared, angry, grateful, hopeful, excited – all the things. I was also EXHAUSTED from all of it.

My anxiety was the worst it’s been in years, maybe the worst it’s ever been, at this moment pictured.

I can see my own discomfort in my raised shoulders & my scrunched up face. Overwhelmingly on edge, controlling, & defensive. Literal heart pain. Many tears & fears. That sort of thing.

I knew this state was not resourceful to hang out in, and I knew the stress of anxiety on my body would only make me more vulnerable to my fears. Not to mention, anxiety doesn’t do much for my relationships or my goals!

I knew I was called to stand up, show up, and serve my people, but that no amount of fear or anxiety belongs in my message, spoken or felt. I didn’t want to have any part of contributing to the fear (or predatory marketing) in the air.

So, I dug deeper into my daily focus on Conscious Wholeness to soothe & support myself into a more powerful, inspired, actionable place. Here’s what that looked like for me…

natural wholeness
Staying away from screens, moving my body, and being in nature has been huge.

My first step for getting pretty much anywhere is acceptance.

My experience is OK. It’s acceptable because it is. All parts of me are acceptable & allowed here. (Yours are too.) From acceptance, I can ultimately expand into full throttle enjoyment of every part of my current experience – even the parts that suck.

With acceptance, I stop resisting & fighting against the things I want to change. When I stop wasting time & energy resisting something’s mere existence, whether it’s inside or outside of me, I free up energy to see things more clearly – so I can do whatever I need to do to shift for the highest & best of all involved.

Also related to acceptance – I’ve been finding a lot of satisfaction & comfort in shadow work.

If you’re not familiar, shadow work is about accepting/integrating/loving up on the parts of ourselves that we’ve learned to hide & reject. This can be triggering & symptom producing in itself, especially if you’re new to the practice. It’s also incredibly effective for real-life magic-making.

shadow work
This current read, Existential Kink by Carolyn Elliot, has been guiding my most recent dive into my shadow. With shadow work, it’s incredibly wise to have a guide (like Carolyn or me). <3

After acceptance, my next step was Emotional Alchemy.

Simply put, I felt what I was honestly feeling, approached it with curiosity, and excavated clarity & guidance from the pain I was experiencing.

I explored the biggest source of my anxiety – that I could possibly lose my life or someone I love.

Another fear was stemming from a deep belief that the Earth doesn’t want me here. I wondered if I’ve done enough good, purpose-driven work in my life to warrant her keeping me around through this.

I examined where the sore spots were, where my shadow was secretly enjoying this experience and determined what if anything I could do to address the fears I was having.

Going through this process reminded me how much I love living on this Earth, and how much I cherish the people that I get to spend time with here. I want to have as much time here as possible, so I can live to be a wise elder! I have a lot to give to the world, and I want to show up every single day to give those gifts as best as I possibly can.

Ultimately, I can only control my approach to the situation, not the situation itself.

I decided that I *could* control doing things to boost my immunity – like going through this Conscious Wholeness process – reducing stress/increasing joy & pleasure, taking exquisite care of my body, and setting strong boundaries around personal contact to follow CDC guidelines related to the current pandemic.

It also feels like I’m processing big emotion for the collective in addition to my own stuff – can you relate? There’s a LOT to sort through. As a result of my reflection, I started getting even more intentional about my energetic boundaries along with the physical ones.

Now I’m staying connected to my friends & family through this time… checking in on them, enjoying those relationships as much as I can, letting them know how much they mean to me while we’re all still here.

I’m inspired to continue showing up every day, open to receiving intuitive guidance about which actions are next for me, with a willingness to take those actions.

After sorting through all of that, I went deeper into caring for my body.

Luckily, that’s been really easy for me to do in my current privileged circumstances.

I allowed myself to relax, separating myself from my tech & almost all outside media. I started taking a daily nap & I let myself off the hook in as many ways as possible so I could pour all my energy back into myself.

I’ve been making use of opportunities to work out virtually with friends from all over the country. I’ve exercised at home for years, and it’s never been easier or more satisfying. These pilates classes with an old co-worker & friend Lo Collins are my recent favorite.

puppy love
We welcomed this new puppy, Maynard, into our home in February & he’s been keeping us very busy! The timing seemed awful initially, but now we see how perfect it was.

Caring for him has been incredibly helpful for me physically, too, pushing me into long daily walks & fresh air at least a few times a day.

signs of spring
I’ve been enjoying every sign of spring in our yard. It gives me a nice sense of normalcy & routine among all the changes happening, offering a reminder to step back & let the Earth do its thing.

When I’m connected with my body, aware of my emotional experience, and prioritizing my physical feel-good this way, I’m naturally more calm, grounded, and confident in my abilities to face the challenges at hand.

Which brings me to trust.

This is the needle mover for me when I need to shift anxiety into a more powerful place, especially lately.

For starters, trust begins inside of myself – trusting myself to take care of my own needs, follow through on my own word, & protect myself effectively in times of need, as best I can, no matter what happens.

Additionally, I’ve needed to surrender to what I can’t control, humbling myself to receive information and guidance from sources larger than myself.

From there, I moved into recognition of how the universe supports me. I can find a LOT of evidence to support that recently – ranging from everyday stuff to cool synchronicities to the straight-up spooky magical events.

I’m so grateful for the resources I have access to, and how well I’m set up for this time in our lives.

We had an incredible & unexpectedly full weekend with loved ones right before all of this went down.

natural wholeness
I often miss living in Boston, but these days I’m incredibly grateful to live exactly where I do, within easy walking distance to very private pieces of nature.

I’m financially prepared – not only in my bank account but in my relationship with money & consumerism as well.

I already loved getting my groceries delivered. I’ve received most of my fresh produce at my doorstep for over a year through Misfits Market. (Want to give Misfits a try? You can use the code COOKWME-YM5BSY to give both of us 25% off).

The cherry on top is that this pandemic has changed absolutely nothing about my business. I already do mostly virtual work with my clients from a home office. I network virtually with people all over the country. There has never been more need for high-quality emotional support & guidance, in a way that doesn’t overburden our healthcare system. Plus, I had already transitioned Conscious Wholeness to a pay-what-you-want model back in early February. No changes needed. I’m already as accessible as possible for everyone regardless of their financial situation.

This and more is Conscious Wholeness.

I access a more powerful state of being through Conscious Wholeness whenever I’m feeling anxious, and practicing this over time has helped me create the perfect life for me that can’t really be shattered. The only thing that will shatter me someday is death itself, and I can only pray that’s many years from now.

Conscious Wholeness moves me through the world from a place of deep authentic connection with myself, my body, my spirituality, the Earth, and the people who mean the most to me. Practicing strengthens & deepens this feeling over time. It has me feeling safe, good enough, ready for whatever life throws at me.

I know that as long as I have air in my lungs & this body to carry me around I can get through anything. That is an amazing feeling.

I’m feeling so much better now, but in this world, it’s a daily focus to stay here.

Really, it’s always been a daily focus remembering that *I* am the only thing in my control.

Conscious Wholeness helps me control what I can, and let the rest go.

When I do that, I can see this period of time for what it is – an unbelievably magical, miraculous, unprecedented opportunity for us to evolve together as humans.

The Earth is asking us to reflect on who we are, what we’re getting hung up on, and where our priorities lie. She’s asking us to start working with her instead of against her.

There has never been a better time to shed the way things have always been so we can rebuild it the way we WANT it to be.

That’s where I’m hanging out lately.

If you relate, I would love to explore this new world together.

Join Conscious Wholeness so we can dive deep together, come hang in my free FB group the Cocoon, book time to connect with me 1:1, or simply leave a comment and let me know what you think. <3

Thank you so much for reading. Stay safe & well and we’ll talk again soon.

CLEAN: What 2019 Taught Me About Money

Before I move fully into 2020, I gotta share with you the biggest lesson I learned in 2019.

My word for the year was CLEAN.

I wanted to clean up physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally.

CLEAN became my goal amidst many boxes & much clutter mess, two weeks after I’d moved in with my boyfriend.

Last year, we completely refinished our back room from a storage space into a beautiful home office. We deep cleaned our whole house and transitioned a second room & our garage from storage space into FUNctional for living. We cleaned up the yard & maintained the outdoors… The best part is that we built cleaner habits & ways of communicating with each other to help us maintain this progress moving forward.

Our finished office was wallpapered storage space this time last year.

It’s worth noting that I significantly cleaned up my relationships with other people last year, too.

Quite a few friendships fell off the map. I cut way down on social media, unfollowing people & leaving groups that weren’t meshing with me. I became a minimalist when it came to hiring outside professionals, leaning more deeply into my own creative, supportive, strategic work (especially Conscious Wholeness).

I’m *so happy & proud* of the progress I made in 2019 focused on CLEAN.

The area of my life that got cleaned up the most was one I least expected – my relationship with MONEY.

I anticipated 2019 being a year of “cleaning up” financially… especially refining my financial systems & the way money flows through my life.

Instead, I got put through the wringer with my money mindset. This year forced me to become way more consistent and intentional about appreciating & allocating the funds in my life.

I thought I was pretty well set after working my money-mindset over my first few self-employed years.

I’ll tell anyone who’ll listen: getting your relationship with money & your plans for allocating your money straightened out is an important first step when you’re branching out on your own.

I thought that cleaning up other areas of my life in 2019 would allow my already-improved relationship with money to flourish, without realizing how much I was still getting in my own way.

I was still looking for a savior financially, rather than taking full responsibility for my own financial health.

My bank account & my ability to buy stuff were still directly related to my personal worth in my mind.

I was still stuck in old beliefs rooted in scarcity, competition, and general not-enoughness when it comes to money.

I was worshipping money over things that matter so much more, and for completely misguided reasons.

It’s no wonder how I ended up here. In a capitalist America, competition, consumerism, and scarcity thinking have been conditioned in me since I was a baby, sitting next to a TV playing commercials.

In 2019, despite every effort I took to grow my business & otherwise make more money, I was stalled out.

I consistently struggled to find the money for gas, groceries, other necessities, and my credit card bills. Investing in myself & my business, buying gifts & giving back, and making purchases for things like creativity or self-care seemed impossible.

It was incredibly frustrating.

Speaking from a completely privileged perspective, this past year was my lowest of low when it comes to money.

I’d seen Conscious Wholeness open things up financially for just about everyone who’s participated, so I started asking… “why isn’t this working for ME? What’s wrong with me?”

Throughout the first half of 2019, I was in a low place.

Looking back I see how this experience will help me in the long run. Living it, I felt ashamed about my financial state for quite some time.

It was hard in other ways than financially. One of the most difficult elements was my inability to help other people & continue growing myself in this work I love the way I wanted to. I often felt like I wasn’t providing anything to the world and it was really hard to feel valuable.

I was still leaning into Conscious Wholeness, reminding myself that everything *IS* working, feeling so grateful for my beautiful relationship with myself & my partner and all the support & abundance around me.

But, that question was all too quick to come back… “Where the hell is all my money?”

I was downright desperate & frantic trying to get help, implement strategies, & learn from experts to take control of my situation.

Eventually, I recognized that my decisions were still being made from a place of fear & scarcity. That wasn’t helping.

So, in the middle of the year, I leaned even deeper into my own process, including Conscious Wholeness around money.

I started being really intentional about the decisions I was making & the conversations I was having around money. My mind opened & I became way more creative with what I already have. I got honest about the truth of my experience & welcomed support from the people around me.

I received these flowers from a debt collector I spoke with while unable to pay credit card bills. I received the tomato cages in the background from a lifelong friend & amazing life coach Karen Poole, who likely had no idea what a lifesaver she was at the time.

I sought support & relationships with people whose relationships with money are ones I admire and started reading the books they recommended & following their advice. (Extra special shoutout to Hilarie Mae here. Your support, guidance, and friendship has become a magical, empowering, & inspirational lifeline for me).

This book came at exactly the right moment. I adored the conversation about “sufficiency” in our resources and loved how well this concept dovetails with Conscious Wholeness.

It became clear that the desires I had, all the reasons I wanted money – travel, adventure, deeper connection & more time to spend with my loved ones, material desires, etc. – were already manifesting in my life even when my numbers weren’t improving.

The view from my flight leaving Ireland in August 2019.
A moment from a blissful first evening in the Adirondacks, right as the leaves there were starting to turn.

Ultimately, I realized that money is indeed 100% necessary in my life – for certain professional goals & the impact I intend to have. That being said, money is not all that important in the ways I previously thought.

Money is not responsible for my happiness, my health, my worth as a person, the quality of my relationships, or my safety here on Earth.

All of that is 100% inside of ME, whether there’s money in my pocket or not.

Turns out, I love being resourceful. I love appreciating and using what I already have, considering that ENOUGH, rather than buying something new at every impulse.

I’m so much happier being intentional with my money, spending it in ways that affirm my life & my values. I enjoy spending thoughtfully, in ways that spread my love to people & causes I care about.

Am I excited & eager to have more & more money to play with? Absolutely.

Did I already feel like I was doing these things before this year? YEP.

And, 2019 brought my financial awareness to a whole new level.

This year showed me, without a doubt, that I can have a completely full life that’s not reliant on money.

That sort of life – a life that feels satisfying, impactful, & fulfilling regardless of my bank account – is what I’ve been building in the second half of 2019.

(I’ve been talking openly about this journey all along in my free group The Cocoon).

I’m moving forward into 2020 with an even deeper understanding that my safety, my worth, my belonging in society has ZERO to do with the money I make. Those things have everything to do with who I am, what I’m here to provide, and how much I’m willing to BE that person day after day.

I’m remembering that everyone has something incredibly valuable to provide, regardless of how much money they have.

Everyone has enough resources inside of themselves & in their environment to do whatever their heart calls them to do.

We still need other people. Support, conversation, and collaboration are totally necessary. We need to join our resources together rather than trying to do everything ourselves.

That being said, we bring so much more to the table when we’ve done the work to build our independence, love, safety, freedom, and worth from inside of ourselves first. This year, I remembered that those things have absolutely zero to do with money.

Dependence on money is a choice, whether we’re consciously making that choice or not.

When we judge ourselves & other people on the basis of money alone, we limit what we’ll be able to accomplish.

It’s time to detach from the false money idol & reconnect with what really matters.

We can re-connect with money for what it is – a powerful resource, one of many resources we can use to create cool stuff while we walk this earth.

Family, love, growth, purpose, creativity, collaboration… And more. Those are the things that really matter.

I love money & where I see our relationship going.

I haven’t totally figured it out yet.

The more I learn, though, the more I realize how few people actually DO have money “figured out” – whether they’re aware, upfront & honest about that or not.

Another thing I’ve remembered this year – when someone claims to know all there is to know about a topic, beware.

The majority of people I interact with have unhelpful stories & their own reasons to feel bad about money.

We feel bad because we don’t have enough of it. The money we have is there at the expense of our relationships, happiness, and who-we-really-are as people. We’ve created all these stifling rules & limitations around the way we grow & spend our money.

So many reasons to feel crappy and uncomfortable, about something we deal with every single day.

So many of us live our lives feeling like we never had enough when the opposite is true. We ALWAYS have enough, and that’s always been true. We always have enough to take the very next step we need to take, so we can do the most amazing things.

Cheers to 2020 becoming our most abundant year yet.

Practicing Conscious Wholeness is one way to bring money back into a beneficial place in your life.

I know it because I’ve done it. I’m head over heels in love with my resources when I seem to have less than ever.

I’m so grateful to be entering into 2020 firmly footed in this knowing. Now, knowing my money isn’t my power, I’m prepared to use my money powerfully in the years to come.

Thank you for reading. <3