Mental Wholeness Step 7: Boundaries

Are you willing to protect yourself, your alignment, and your personal space?

Would you love to give and receive openly with more love in your heart?

Healthy boundaries are about both of these things. It’s both keeping unwanted, harmful things out, AND letting the good things in.

What do I mean when I say “boundaries”?

I think of a boundary as the line where one thing meets another. They might be visible, like a door, a wall, or a fence, or they might be invisible, like the border between states or the energy between people.

Remember that energy body we talked about back in step 5? Your energetic self has boundaries all it’s own, and you have the ability to impact those boundaries with your focus.

Boundaries are ever-changing things, they can be different moment to moment.

We live in a time that it’s more important than ever to be able to express ourselves about our boundaries – what we will and will not accept in our lives & with our bodies. We must be prepared to state our wants and needs explicitly for the people around us, especially when miscommunications happen.

At the same time, I’ve found that it’s often possible to inspire more respect from others for your boundaries without needing to bring it up explicitly at all.

This is because your boundaries all start inside of you – they need to be enforced on the inside first. (There’s also this thing that my clients and I call energetic communication in the program Surrender Strategy).

At the core of Boundaries is understanding what you deserve, and insisting that you will treat yourself in alignment with that. Other people will follow your lead.

Again, we’re embodying the energy of the person who is already living the vision you created back in clarity. You can allow your experiences in the emotional alchemy process to guide you. Understanding & evaluating how you feel is a great way to figure out where your boundaries lie, and what you need from yourself and others to feel satisfied.

You deserve to feel deeply comfortable and satisfied. You deserved to have your needs and your dreams fulfilled. Everyone does.

We also deserve to have support around this.

When you start noticing and communicating your boundaries to the people around you, there might be a bit of an uncomfortable blurt phase. During blurt phase, you’re not quite sure what to say in the moments your boundaries are crossed, and you haven’t quite learned how to soften your words with love yet (a nice thing to do, especially for those closest to you).

Plus, as I mentioned earlier, boundaries can be tricky and they move around all the time, depending on the context of whatever situation you’re in.

Sometimes we become limited by our own beliefs around the treatment we should and shouldn’t accept, as opposed to what truly feels right for us as individuals, and our relationships can get all mixed up because of that.

We need someone to hold space for us and reassure us about what’s possible for us and what we deserve.

This can be complicated stuff to sort out, but it’s so worth the effort.

When you start to feel safe and powerful in your own skin, your whole world will change. You’ll open yourself up to experiencing more and more love-filled goodness, as you build your confidence that you deserve it & you give it to yourself first. This is what healthy boundaries will provide for you.

So, take a deep breath, connect with yourself, and ask: Where in my life am I accepting less than I deserve? What line is being crossed there? How can I better respect this boundary within myself today?  

If you’re looking for personalized guidance, support, or just to continue the conversation, feel free to email me any time – info@briannamcinerny.com. I’d love to connect with you.

(If you’re looking for some video content about this, check out these throwback videos on push/pull relationships, for people-pleasers, How to Get More Confidence, Power & Respect, or How to Get rid of Toxic Relationships.

I’ll be back soon with our final component of Mental Wholeness – Trust.

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