When you notice someone else talking about “your thing” – how do you feel?
Your thoughts & feelings in these moments say a lot about where you stand in relation to your goals & how fully you’re expressing yourself in the world.
If seeing others working well your field makes you upset, jealous, or even angry… Perhaps you don’t feel heard or valued as an expert yourself yet.
Those feelings originate in you. You aren’t listening to yourself. You aren’t valuing yourself.
Maybe in these moments, you feel like you could do it better than they are, you have something more to contribute. In that case, do it up! Get to work!! Get yourself out there and hop to contributing – we need you & the gifts you bring to the table.
I used to feel a pang of upset & jealousy when I heard people talking about topics like mental health & wellness, emotions, creativity, inspiration, leadership, spirituality, etc… Seeing someone else shine at “my thing” would make my chest tighten up and I’d start questioning everything.
Now, I quickly feel excited and encouraged when I see or hear about someone else killing it in my field.
I think things like …
“People are clearly interested in this topic.”
“I would love to do that – this is proof that it’s possible for me, too!”
“What a great approach! Maybe I could try that/collaborate with them/learn from them.”
“Maybe that person would be interested in what I’m doing, too.”
… And I consciously wish for them to have even more success and all of the abundances their heart desires, so they can keep providing amazing things to our world.
There’s more than enough to go around.
The truth is, we need to work together to create the world we want.
It’s a big world, you’re only one person. I’m only one person.
Let’s stop competing and start deeply connecting, so we can work well together towards our common goals.
The first step is sorting out your own hangups, so you can collaborate with ease (especially through challenges & disagreements), celebrate the success of others, learn quickly through challenges, and keep the vibe high in any room you occupy.
I’d love to help with this.
I’m offering another opportunity for you to catch my live virtual class Transforming Dark Moments into Opportunities for Expansion on Tuesday 5/14 @ 12:00 PM EST.
I’ll provide three specific strategies you can use to diffuse jealous & uncertain moments when they come up. Register here.
I promised I’d be back with some guidance about where to take this next. So, here we are!
The way I see it, you have five main options moving forward:
1. You can do nothing to intentionally continue working with Mental Wholeness.
This is a totally legitimate option.
Maybe you’re feeling a hard “no” right now to continue with this, and that’s cool. Perhaps you have a lot of competing priorities right now and you just know the timing isn’t right. Maybe you’re completely uninterested. (If that’s you, though… I doubt you’d still be here).
If you’ve been following along with this content, I’d be willing to bet that Mental Wholeness will continue to unfold in your life whether you give your focus to it or not. There’s no shame in coasting along with this, letting things unfold naturally until you feel a strong “yes” to continue.
You don’t need anything outside of yourself to be successful. Period.
That being said, there’s a lot of value in creating a strong support system around you that’s plugged into what you’re working on. You deserve support as you go through the process. You deserve to surround yourself with people who see you and value every part of you, who can hold space for you to grow comfortably into the best possible version of yourself.
When I say the best possible version of yourself – I mean the version of you that’s the most fully YOU.
Eventually, if you keep practicing, Mental Wholeness will lead you towards the community you’ve always wanted. You deserve to have that community – exactly as you are, right now.
Still, you might genuinely be in a place where you want to practice some of these things on your own for a while. Sometimes, that’s 100% the right decision. Again, the whole point of this is to follow your internal guidance, so I hope that you’ll do that.
Two options here – group support and/or 1:1 support from me.
Let me create a container where you’ll have support, accountability, and insight that’s personalized to your situation during our time together.
You’ll receive private content about the steps of Mental Wholeness from me every week, multiple times a week, to continue integrating what we’ve started here. You’ll have access to a group where you can hash out your ideas.
If you so choose, you’ll have unlimited access to me.
More importantly, you’ll develop your own personal roadmap for finding inner peace. You’ll build confidence and you’ll feel at home in your own skin. You’ll start to trust yourself, feel fulfilled, and find your way forward. The perfect opportunities will come to you – even if some of those opportunities are only to help you get ready for the magic that’s coming.
Through practicing Mental Wholeness, you’ll start to approach life’s difficulties with joy and excitement, because you’ll understand how to make your challenges work in your favor.
Maybe you already have Mental Wholeness down to a science.
All of this content jived with you, and it was even helpful, but you’re looking for something a little more expansive. You’re really looking to take it to the next level.
You’ve noticed new opportunities coming in as you move from a foundation of Mental Wholeness, and you’re interested in making the right opportunities stick so you can really create a life that’s perfect for you.
Surrender Strategy is all about decoding that balance between action and letting things unfold naturally. We’ll explore the ways of the universe together. We’ll practice being a channel for the inspiration that’ll put us in the right place, at the right time, with the right thing to say and the perfect action to take.
During Surrender Strategy, we will also undoubtedly start exploring how to build healthy, interdependent, supportive relationships with people both personally and professionally. You’ll start holding better space for the people around you, and you’ll notice the way you can impact an entire situation by adjusting yourself internally.
Ultimately, we’ll lay the bricks to build your legacy – one that could make a difference in people’s lives for generations to come.
All of these concepts can be presented in a talk or training for your group – so that the organizations you’re building can also operate in alignment with your goals.
Do you have something else in mind? I would love to hear about it.
If any of this sounds exciting to you, I would love to talk more. Schedule a consultation and let’s explore the opportunities we have to collaborate.
5. Finally, you could find some support somewhere else.
Maybe I’m not your cup of tea, and you’d like to find someone else who does similar work. There are a million fish in the sea.
Maybe it’s time for you to explore a different area, something more specific. The support, guidance, and content I offer is definitely a broad umbrella, and there’s a lot to be said for working with someone specifically on one issue.
I pride myself on having a wide array of resources and people to refer to.
Not everyone is a good fit to work with me. When I come across a person like that, I love to send them in the right direction.
Feel free to email me – firstname.lastname@example.org – and tell me a little bit about what you’re looking for. I would love to connect you to the perfect support for you.
Thank you so much for following along with this Mental Wholeness blog series. It’s been a pleasure sharing this space with you.
One final time – if you’re looking for personalized guidance, support, or just to continue the conversation, feel free to email me any time – email@example.com. I’d love to connect with you.
Happy Holidays! I hope the season is treating you well.
This can be a challenging time of year, especially when life isn’t quite what you thought it’d be.
I do love this photo, but looking back, my smile wasn’t what it seemed. I was pretty miserable at this point in my life.
About 6 months before this picture was taken, I’d started a transformation. After bawling my eyes out to a friend about the loss of my first love to suicide – 5 years after that loss – I *finally* realized that no-one else would ever be able to rescue me from the pain I was feeling.
I’d been trying to find help outside of myself, to no avail. It was time to turn inward.
Taking full ownership for the way I was feeling & embracing my ability to do something about it was a huge turning point for me.
I connected with a suicide prevention organization and became a volunteer. I continued to work hard on my degree in psychology.
However, I didn’t realize then what I know now about turning points and personal transformation. Now I know that choosing to get started is the easy part of the process.
Learning how to sustain a totally new way of life can be hard, and it often gets worse before it gets better. Trying to make a change throws you into the fire deeper than you were before. Any time we commit to change, we’ll be tested.
I wasn’t doing well when this picture was taken. I’d developed wild anxiety, feeling completely insecure and inadequate most days.
I had panic attacks keeping me awake almost every night. Severe panic attacks, checking doors and windows multiple times over hours to make sure they were locked, terrified that I would never wake up if I fell asleep. Etc.
Being in my body was uncomfortable, so I was abusing myself with tons of chemicals – caffeine, nicotine, amphetamine, alcohol – every single day. I wasn’t eating enough and I was barely sleeping. (I’m sure this played a huge role in my anxiety)!
I felt unsupported in most of my relationships, and I’m sure I wasn’t very supportive for my people either. I had no idea how to communicate with the people in my life.
I’d buried my emotions for a long time, and everything started to come out.
While I believed I could have an impact on the world, and big dreams lived inside of me, I had no idea what I’d do after graduation.
I just knew that the world would be a happier place if I could help it’s people feel better.
Over the last nine years, I’ve been working on it, and I had to help myself feel better first.
I slowly took space from relationships that weren’t good for me. I continued volunteering, learning lots about suicide prevention & grief support. Being in a community that understood what I was going through was really helpful. Eventually, I started working as a mental health case manager, then working with clients for the first time threw me deeper into anxiety again.
At that point, I saw a therapist for a few years. I learned about fitness and nutrition, energy healing and other alternative health options while I continued to work in mental health.
With all of these things combined, I lifted myself out of the grave I’d been digging myself all those years. I started to feel genuinely happy again, about six years ago.
Many more challenges presented themselves along the way… a traumatic car accident, relationships, and breakups, friend dramas, deaths, rejection from a graduate program (enter questioning – WTF do I do now?), injuries, dating, unhealthy/challenging work environments, more deaths, an arrest for DWI… Plus, leaving my traditional career path to start my own business, which is by far one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
With each challenge, I refined my tools for coping and I learned some new ones. I’ve taken steps backward and forward, some wobbly, some that put me on my ass.
Overall, I’m deeply satisfied with my life.
I’m a LOT better at work, life, and relationships than I used to be. (The results my clients receive are even more stellar). I know how to positively impact the people around me – I don’t even need words to do it. It’s all about who I’m being in the moment. I love myself more every day, which allows me to give more to others and receive more from the world.
This makes for a much more enjoyable holiday season.
Life is going to hand us challenging times. Always. My program Mental Wholeness provides us with tools to use those challenges as fuel – so they can make us stronger rather than taking us out. With Mental Wholeness in hand, we’ll always know exactly how to stand back up and keep going when life puts us on our ass.
I’ve consolidated a lifetime of passion, time, resources, and energy into this foundational program for myself and my clients.
Don’t get me wrong, Mental Wholeness isn’t *just* for challenging times – it’s actually most helpful (and genuinely magical) to start practicing when things are going well – it just comes in extra handy when the shit hits the fan.
Over the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing the Mental Wholeness process step by step, here on my website and on Instagram. Consider taking me up on this holiday gift. Follow along and join in the conversation. Make sure to follow me if you want to stick around for that. @briannamcinerny
And until next time, I hope you enjoy this holiday season to the fullest. Sending all of my love to you and yours. We’ll talk again soon.
Staying consistent throughout the holiday season can be challenging. This time of year is full of demands & temptations that’ll test you to the fullest, no matter what you’re working towards. Still, this season can be the most joyful, powerful time of the year if you’re prepared for it. That’s why I offered a class last year about staying sane throughout the holiday season.
This class provides simple strategies for making more conscious choices, so you can feel satisfied, connected, and whole all season long.
Don’t wait to start fresh in the New Year. Get a running start into 2019 by staying consistent throughout the holiday season. Join me for this free, online class for a few powerful, helpful tips: https://youtu.be/HnRn96bxylw
We’ve been raised to think that fitting in is necessary for our survival.
Until recent years, we were right.
Safety & security needed to be our main focus as humans for a long time. That included belonging to a group – finding safety in numbers.
Now times are changing… especially for those of you reading this.
Our lives aren’t threatened by the same things anymore. Food, water, and shelter are readily available everywhere we look.
There’s excess all around us.
In this increasingly abundant world, our survival depends on feeling safe enough to be fully ourselves – especially when being ourselves means ruffling some feathers.
We need to shake things up.
We need to fear fitting-in now, even more than we fear the change of outgrowing what we know.
Any resistance to our growth at this point in history is literally killing us.
Everything happening in our world right now is orchestrated to shift our focus – off of mere survival, and onto creating something greater than the status quo.
Our wires are often crossed. Everything we know is cutting us down at the knees. Life is hitting the fan to set us straight again… giving us opportunities to choose a new way forward.
We’re being violently shown how we need to prioritize differently now.
We’re being guided towards what we need in our modern times – which is so much more than to just survive.
We’re finding that what we need is NOT simply playing a part in our chosen group like it was before.
What do we need, then?
We need to be openly, outspokenly ourselves – and we need to encourage the exact same honest self-expression from all others.
We need to get curious and have challenging conversations… especially when we don’t understand something or when we see things differently.
We’re being urged to care more about who we are and what we can contribute, rather than protecting the ways things “should” be or by doing things the way they’ve always been done.
As our physical survival is less and less threatened, becoming the best possible versions of ourselves is the next evolutionary frontier.
Personal growth and learning how to best support each other needs to become our urgent priority.
As technology evolves rapidly, in our safe & abundant world, our value comes from a source so much deeper than our ability to fit in… deeper than our ability to do a job and make money.
(Of course, working and money are important parts of the picture, but they aren’t what make you valuable.)
Our value now comes from our ability to harness who we are in a meaningful way that benefits the collective. Our value comes from the ways we channel ourselves to impact the world at large – including the people closest to us.
Our value comes from our ability and willingness to collaborate with others… offering our own meaningful perspectives while respecting different perspectives too, even when they compete with our own.
Moving forward, our survival will depend on our ability & willingness to build our world on purpose – from the inside out. Our survival will depend on our ability to learn new, relevant skills & pass them along for the generations to come.
Mental Wholeness – a service offered by SLICE Inspiration & Consulting – is a welcome wagon to the skills we’ll need in this new way of being. It offers a streamlined structure for fine-tuning deep self-connection, for those of you already living to make an impact. It’s meant to be a life-long practice & it’ll evolve along with you over time.
Mental Wholeness soothes the uncertainty of our humanness and syncs us back up, mind, body, and soul, with the momentum of expansion – like our lives depend on it.
“Trauma” is defined as a deeply disturbing or distressing experience.
Many traumatic events happen in our world every day.
Even if you haven’t personally experienced trauma, it’s totally normal to feel it vicariously – sometimes just from watching the news.
Experiences like these impact us to our core.
When we have trouble processing trauma effectively, we can experience a lot of difficulty in our lives. The disturbances can last a lifetime.
Nervousness, irritability, or anger can appear, seemingly out of no-where. Relapses occur. Relationships suffer. Life gets hard.
Understanding how to cope with distressing experiences and the symptoms they can cause is something we ALL need, so we can help ourselves and help others effectively during these trying times.
First and foremost, know that everything you’re feeling is normal and probably to-be-expected.
Also, support is essential, and you deserve to put amazing support in place for yourself. Just because trauma is normal doesn’t mean you should handle it alone. Explore your options, and find the support that works for you.
Traumatic experiences can cause us to fear intensely for our physical safety and well-being – even when the threat is gone and we’re safe. We do not often recognize when we’re having a trauma response – maybe we’ve learned to minimize our experience or we’re unsure of how to explain it to others.
Even when we DO recognize what’s happening – it’s easy to feel totally out of control when these events occur.
I’d love to give you some power back today.
We can never control what life will hand us, but we CAN control our response with practice. So, in addition to the support you’ll seek, here are some steps you can try on your own to deal with trauma as it happens:
1. Become aware of what you’re feeling & self-soothe by intentionally feeling safe.
Bring awareness to your experience, accepting your natural responses to the trauma and embracing them fully.
Find gratitude for your physical responses to trauma. Recognize that any fearful, anxious, hyper-vigilant responses you’re experiencing are signs that your system is working to keep you safe.
As you acknowledge and embrace what you’re feeling, you’ll naturally start to feel calmer and safer.
Then, actively help yourself to feel safe, whatever it takes. I love repeating a simple mantra until the fear slows down… “I’m safe”. Take satisfying breaths. Cuddling up in a very cozy blanket usually helps me, too.
2. Create space for yourself to express yourself fully.
Describe your experience, let it surface… through crying, yelling, punching, or maybe going for a run.
Writing can also be really helpful to process your experience.
Trauma lives in your body, so until you let it move through you, any emotional pain you suppress will store in your body and create issues for you.
Allowing your body to process what its feeling creates inner confidence and strength that you can overcome anything. Nothing from the outside will make you feel completely safe until you have this inner confidence.
Try setting a time limit on your emotional expression to show yourself how much control you have over bringing yourself back after expressing the deep pain from your trauma.
Put support in place for yourself so you don’t need to do this alone.
3. Give back.
The potential for positive outcomes to result from negative events is always there.
Often, the positive outcome of experiencing trauma is a new or renewed passion to help others cope with the same kind of deeply disturbing events.
Once you’ve processed the challenging parts of your experience, you might find gratitude for what you’ve learned and who you’ve become. A desire to help others with similar experiences can often surface and pull you forward.
Take these steps for yourself, and put some qualified support in place, so that the symptoms of trauma don’t progress to cause serious life-long issues for you.
There’s a whole body of research on post-traumatic growth – reaching higher levels of functioning through the experience of adversity.
Just don’t forget to validate yourself for the challenging parts of the process. The world will thank you.
Has worry about money ever helped you make more of it?
Probably not. Still, most people experience some sort of financial stress. It doesn’t matter if they have a little or a lot of money, some worry is still there.
Money is energy, and it’s one of the most tangible, well-known sources of energy we have access too. We need food, shelter, and other resources to survive on this planet, and money offers means to access what we need. We crave the freedom to live however we want, to go wherever we want, and to help everyone we want to help. Money helps with those things too. It’s only natural that we want to generate, save, and exchange as much money as we can.
Releasing worry attached to money has the potential to positively impact everyone around you – especially those closest to you. Building a worry-free relationship with money helps you move more clearly & confidently towards your desires. With less energy spent worrying, there’s more left for creating, connecting, and thoroughly enjoying all of the amazing benefits money brings.
When you’re able to relax more around money, you might even find yourself making more of it. Here are three steps to stop worrying about money, so you can start enjoying it instead:
Get really honest with yourself regarding what you’re worried about. It’s rarely ever as bad in reality as it feels in your imagination. Chances are, many people feel exactly the same way you do. Write your thoughts on paper, without editing, until you’re out – you can even burn the page afterward if you’d like (safely please)! Notice the consistent things you’re worried about, and what’s contributing to your worry. What or who told you that you should worry about this in the first place? Are you ashamed of wanting money? Does it seem like money is connected to your relationships with other people? How so? Becoming aware of these patterns is an important first step to forming new ones.
Recognize& prioritize the physical comfort that you feel. Are you fed well every day, with comfortable clothes and a roof over your head? Do you have means to get anywhere you want to go? Do you have items around you that can enhance your comfort, like a soft blanket for instance? Do you have tools to use towards your success? Regardless of your answers to these questions, starting to recognize and feel how well-equipped you really are is a necessary step towards releasing your money worries. Make your physical well-being a priority, and remember – no matter what happens, you’ll always have everything you need to succeed.
Re-focus your attention towards how you’d like to feel. There are always endless possibilities about how a situation can evolve. Why not imagine the desirable outcomes, and focus on actions that’ll help those come about, rather than circling in worry?When we focus on how we want to feel, we often realize ways we can reach our desired outcomes immediately. The associated things we’re asking for follow naturally when we’re taking action from this abundant and satisfied place.
As you repeat this process, you’ll relax & enjoy the beautiful life you’ve earned, over and over again.
This might seem like a strange topic, coming from someone who provides guidance & advice for a living. But, it’s true – you shouldn’t listen to me… you should listen to YOU!! Don’t get me wrong, I really value the trust my clients show by implementing my advice, and I’d never work with someone who just straight up refused to listen to me. Still, the main goal of working with my clients is to help them hear themselves more clearly & follow their own internal guidance more confidently. This way, the trust & understanding they build within themselves can carry them through each challenge they face, no matter how complex. So… if my advice doesn’t feel good to you, please, don’t listen to it! Listen to yourself instead. Your collaboration with other people (including me!) will only get stronger this way. Leave a comment and let me know what you think!! See you next week.
Are there things you’d like to accomplish in life, but you don’t know where you’ll find the time?
Many people are busy all the time, without actually being productive at all. It’s maddening and draining to spend valuable time and energy running in circles. We’re busy scooping water out of a sinking boat that has holes in the bottom.
Perpetual busy-ness leaves us feeling scattered. When we’re feeling this way, we can’t decide and act with clarity when opportunities arise – often because we’re running so fast we blew right by the opening.
When we don’t clear time and space in our minds, our homes, and our calendars, leaving room for relaxation, reflection, introspection, and the unexpected, we’re blind to new opportunities, or we block them from entering our lives entirely. When we do this, we’re rejecting our ticket up to life’s next level.
Clearing time and space means saying “no” to things, when sometimes we’ve been saying “yes” for awhile. The thought of re-arranging to clear space for the unseen can be daunting, to say the least.
The good news is, you don’t need to take this on alone.
If you’d like to be more productive and less busy, so you can comfortably rise to your life’s next level, here are three steps to get started:
Check your beliefs about success. What do you believe it’ll take to up-level?Are you afraid achieving more will require you to work longer and harder? This isn’t always true. As humans, we avoid pain, and we prefer the familiar. Thinking we’ll need to run ourselves ragged to get things accomplished can prevent us from ever starting in the first place. It IS possible to do-do-do less while achieving more. Believing it’s possible is an important first step.
Do what you want, not what you “should”. Start paying attention to the parts of your day that make you feel good, and the parts that don’t feel so good. Ask your body what it wants and needs from you, even if this feels a little silly at first, so it can become your best friend instead of your biggest stumbling block. Take time to dream about the things that inspire you, and the places you want to go. Imagine the things you want to achieve. Say “yes” to the things that feel good, that take you in your desirable direction, and let the rest go to make space for something new.
Get good support. Outsource. Find experts who love doing what you’re weakest at. When it makes sense, release control and let other people take responsibility. Would it take someone else 5 minutes to do something that takes you 5 hours? Are there agencies available to help you with things like family care or running errands? Hire a personal assistant, a personal trainer, a coach, or some type of unbiased, inspirational support to keep you accountable and help you see things clearly. Think about what support you’ll need from your loved ones to make changes in your schedule, and ask them for what you need. Ask for help, and be willing to receive it.
Above all else, know that focusing your energy towards your goals makes you smart and successful, not lazy or irresponsible, and accepting help is a strength not a weakness.
Taking these steps to be more productive and less busy will help you plug the holes in your boat, for smooth sailing all the way to the top.