Yours & Mine New Year Transition Ritual

Yesterday, I was inspired to spend time reflecting on 2018 and planning for the year ahead. 

Even though rituals aren’t always my thing, I stumbled into one that I’d love to share with you. Maybe it’ll inspire your own.

Working with natural cycles, like the end of a year and the beginning of a new one, is a powerful way to work with the energy of the universe. For me, it helps me to feel more in tune with the Earth and with my own intuition. It’s a time for me to access guidance from a source that feels much larger than myself. 

Collaborating with cycles in your life & career will smooth out the sometimes bumpy ride while bringing pleasure to the process. 

(Working with cycles is a part of Surrender Strategy – a set of steps designed to help you become stronger and stronger at manifesting the life and career you want). 

Let’s dive into what I did to mark this New Year transition. I hope you’ll celebrate this transition in your own way. 

My first step was to reflect on the year that’s ending. 

What were the high points of your year? What points were lows? Is there anything you see now about your year that you couldn’t see while it was happening? 

I love using Tarot cards for guidance at times like these, and it’s been a while since I played with large spreads, so I decided to use Tarot for this New Year exploration. I used the Morgan-Greer Tarot deck and The Dreams of Gaia Tarot deck

When reading Tarot or seeking any sort of guidance, it’s important to step into the energy of the highest version of yourself & what you’re creating. If you’re feeling anxious or scattered, lacking connection and confidence, that’s sure to come through in the cards. So, when you’re doing this at home, make sure you’re taking time to get in the right head space first. 

For my 2018 reflection spread, I pulled a card from each deck for each quarter of the year. (A total of eight cards). I surrounded the spread with some crystals and gifts that I’ve received this year.

As I read about the cards I’d pulled for each quarter, I looked through my calendar to remember what’d been happening during the three months in question. I jotted down some notes in a special notebook I keep for times like these. 

I remembered that this year has been amazing, and amazingly challenging, full of super high highs and the lowest of lows. In hindsight, I see so clearly how it all unfolded and where I might’ve focused my energies differently. 

What are you learning from 2018? Take some time to remember and reflect on your year. 

If you don’t have cards to use and you want to try something similar, it might be fun to pick a book and flip to a different page for each quarter of the year, looking for clues about helpful guidance and takeaways. You could also check out the Galaxy Tarot app for your phone or browse through the Tarot online. Or, of course, skip this part all together, and simply reflect!

The second step of my ritual was to release what I don’t want to take with me into 2019. 

What patterns of thought, beliefs, behaviors, or material items can you release now – to walk into 2019 a little bit lighter and more focused? 

I’ve been wanting to burn some of my morning pages for some time now, so I figured this would be the perfect time to do it. 

I gathered up as many of these pages as I could find, got a metal bowl and a lighter, bundled up, went outside, and started burning. 

Quickly growing cold and impatient with the burn, nervous with the wind, I went inside. 

My morning pages burn-fest became a tear fest. I tore up a year’s worth of morning pages into little pieces, put them all into my big metal bowl. Before I disposed of this, I smudged with some sage – an herb held sacred by Native Americans, used to purify negative energies and attract positive ones. 

While I tore things up, I found myself reading through some of my thoughts from the year and reflecting some more. 

(It’s worth saying that I write my morning pages on the computer now. As much as I love writing by hand, I love being able to review and delete regularly without using paper. I’ve also found that this encourages me to write more professionally, because it’s all happening in the same place).

While I had the sage out, I took the liberty of walking around the house to smudge each room. I focused my thoughts on blessing and clearing everything that’s taken place up until this point, asking for safety, love, and abundance to fill our space in 2019. 

I’ve also been spending lots of time cleaning and organizing, donating as much as possible, getting rid of what’s no longer needed. This is another great way to release and work with the energy of the New Year.  

What can you release right now to better prepare yourself for next year? Is there anything you’d like to do to symbolize this letting go?

For instance, you could write some things down on one sheet of paper, then burn that or tear it up. It doesn’t need to be the time-consuming act of tearing a huge stack of paper. 

The third and final step was to look forward to the year ahead. 

I chose to do another Tarot spread with the same decks. I pulled a card from each deck for each month of the upcoming year. Again, making sure to select my cards from a calm, confident, connected energy, focused on my life purpose and what I’m creating. 

As I went through month by month, I jotted down some more notes in my notebook reserved for Tarot readings. I took three sittings to get through the whole reading, plus a couple of snack breaks!

I received some inspiration for how I can organize my year. For instance, I’ll set aside plenty of time for learning in March. I’ll plan some time to focus on love and relaxation in July. In May, I’ll be ready to lovingly nurture my creative projects, even if that means making some sacrifices to get the work done. 

I noticed a theme for the year ahead. It’ll be a year of professional focus, a year of being unapologetically myself even in the face of adversity. 

Sounds like it might get a little uncomfortable at times, but hey, isn’t that always true? I’m excited. 

What are you expecting in the year ahead? What would you love to see happen? How will you organize your year? 

How will you make this ritual your own? Please share with us in the comments. 

I hope that we’ll stay connected in 2019. 

A last reminder – over the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing the steps of Mental Wholeness one-by-one here on the blog. 

Mental Wholeness is designed to get you deeply connected with yourself (and something greater, if you believe in that sort of thing) so you can magnetize the perfect people and opportunities to you. It’ll help you find success in the New Year regardless of what resolutions you’re setting. 

Make sure to follow me here or on social media if you want to stay in the loop.

Thanks for reading. I hope you’ll enjoy celebrating the turn of the New Year. See you in 2019. 

Give Lovingly: Be Generous Without Sacrificing Yourself

Generosity is giving more of oneself – more time, more money, more kindness – than is necessary or expected given the situation.

Generosity is an extremely desirable quality to have. It also has a dark side.

The desire to give weighs heavily on people who don’t give to themselves first and foremost. 

Giving & receiving are two sides of the same coin; balance is what brings true & deep satisfaction in this area. 

Over-giving without a balanced amount of receiving makes it so much more difficult to give lovingly of ourselves while making it all too easy to breed overwhelm and resentment. 

Over-receiving without a balanced amount of giving will still never quite feel like enough and we get stuck looking for satisfaction outside of ourselves. 

The pressure & desire to be generous often doubles during the holiday season.

For instance…

Our own financial well-being suffers so we can donate money & buy gifts. 

We always say “yes” to new responsibilities or events, when we’re already worn paper-thin.

We force smiles and niceties with people and family members who don’t make us feel good, just to maintain the status quo.

When we neglect our own needs like this for the benefit of others, we nurture a breeding ground for resentment, anger, and eventually burnout, when we have absolutely nothing left to give.

This is not the spirit of real generosity.

True generosity happens naturally – inspired and overflowing from a full cup, without creating any hardship at all for the giver.

(Any hardship that *is* endured will be outweighed by the joy & the consequences of giving, as long as you’re meeting your own needs first). 

Acts of giving carry an element of receiving, too. There’s no way around it. 

If you get really honest with yourself, you may realize, that any self-less over-giving you do usually comes with some expectation about what you’ll receive in return – even if that expectation is unrealistic

So, you may as well be realistic, and embrace this truth that giving & receiving need to be balanced to feel inspiring, empowering, and genuinely enjoyable for everyone involved. 

When you lean into the experience of giving from a full, loving place, you’ll always receive *something* in return – even if it’s simply receiving an awareness about how it feels best to give moving forward.

Sometimes the most generous thing you can do is lovingly & gracefully receiving from someone else.

Think about giving compliments for instance – it always feels better for the giver when the receiver takes the kindness in deeply, clearly benefitting from the sentiment that was given to them. 

When you’re NOT enjoying the process of giving – when you feel like you don’t have a choice, or you feel that you never get anything back in return – that’s a sure sign you’ve stepped into the territory of self-induced self-sacrifice.

So let’s take a step back, shall we?

These tips will help you give lovingly throughout the holiday season.

1. Take 100% responsibility for the way you feel. Let other people take 100% responsibility for the way they feel, too. Your #1 job is to care for yourself – let that be your priority. It’s not your job to make other people happy. It’s not up to anyone else to make you happy, either. People will survive and thrive without you, or they’ll learn how with practice. That is a very, very good thing.

2. Learn what your “full-body yes” feels like, then follow it. Close your eyes, take deep breaths, connect with your body, connect with the wisest part of you, and ask – what does a full-body “yes” feel like for me? Say NO to everything that doesn’t elicit that solid YES reaction. You’ll still have plenty of amazing things to fill your calendar, especially during this time of year. Your time is valuable and in high demand – spend time following your “yes”, not pushing down your “no”.

3. Only commit to projects, parties, and people when you KNOW you will deliver. Everything on your to-do list will subtly drain your energy until it’s complete, so be deliberate, be selective, and be realistic. Don’t stretch yourself too thin. You don’t owe an explanation to anyone – you’re allowed to say “no” (or at least stay temporarily non-committal until you feel a clear “yes” or “no”).

When you give generously to yourself first, a loving generosity towards others will naturally emerge – because nothing feels better than making an impact in the life of a loved one or someone who needs it.

Don’t forget to lovingly receive this season as well. Feel the air on your skin, believe the compliments that come your way, intentionally enjoy and celebrate the abundance you receive & the connections you experience. 

Receive more by choosing what feels very good for you & your body in every moment – then witness how much more you’re able to give lovingly as a result. 

Give lots of gratitude for all of it to continue building this balance of giving & receiving – then watch this beautiful cycle continue.

What do YOU think? I would love to hear about it in the comments. 

If you’d love some extra support with this, I would love to connect with you! 

Check out my free FB group, The Cocoon, where I post self-reflective questions every day. 

Consider joining Conscious Wholeness to make more intentional choices that are aligned with what you want (the next live round is starting in January, but you’ll receive access to the last round of videos right away). (Also consider checking out this blog series on the topic). 

Schedule an Epiphany Session to receive personalized strategy & guidance from me about your unique situation. 

Or book a call with me to connect & find the next step that’s best for you.  

Happy Holidays!

Be Generous Without Sacrificing Yourself

give lovingly