Anxiety: Once My Co-Pilot, Now My Inspiration

I need to talk to you about anxiety.

It’s all about control.

Understanding everything that could possibly go wrong so you can try and defend against it.

Doing everything for yourself & everyone else, because you won’t trust other people to do it the way you want it done.

Desperately trying to make sure everything is “just right” and going down without a hitch, contorting yourself to make it happen.

Building resentment towards the people around you who don’t know how (or don’t care) to help.

Keeping people we love at an arms-length, rather than enjoying the deep connections that we really want – because we’ll feel less vulnerable that way.

Anxiety is all about fear.

Fear of dying, fear of losing love, fear of being rejected by the people close to you.

When that fear starts driving your actions and changing you from the person you really are, it’s a problem. It’s a problem common to many of us.

anxiety

The girl in this photo was scared shitless, but she was done hiding from it.

She literally couldn’t hide it anymore. Anxiety was impacting every single area of her life. It wasn’t working.

Looking back, I can see this was a turning point for me…

I was so hungry for my deeper purpose and I knew it lived inside of me, I could feel it.

Finally ready to prioritize the unknown, I gave myself over to what my body was trying to tell me. I was ready to deeply listen to myself again, for the first time in a long time.

When this photo was taken I was not too far removed from weekly anxiety attacks, my own emotional co-dependency wreaking havoc, superwoman syndrome that kept me constantly on the edge – especially at work, putting out fires with ice cubes left and right.

My commitment to understanding & supporting myself changed things for me right away.

The more I was willing to listen to my inner guidance & follow it, the better I felt… And the goodness just keeps getting deeper & wider with time, the further I’m willing to go.

The woman I am today… 6 or 7 years later, maybe?… is lifetimes away. Not anxiety-free by any means, but happy as a clam.

I recognize a lot of similar things between now and then… I see so clearly how much GOOD this earlier version of me had going for her already, even though she had no idea how good it really was or how to fully appreciate what she had.

My life NOW is not perfect, but now I know that I’ll never be done… Whatever I accomplish, I’ll always want more & better & faster. That’s OK.

There will always be scary, hurtful things that are out of our control in this life.

Avoiding fear & anxiety & whatever other emotional challenges we encounter doesn’t really serve us, it blinds us. It keeps us stuck in the same cage we’re in. That’s not a solution. It takes a lot of effort & it still doesn’t work.

Oddly enough, emotions tend to shift when we’re able to lean in instead of away. When we look closer at anxiety to see what we might be fearing and address that real root fear – rather than frantically swimming around stuck in meaningless details of what’s happening around us – that’s when we’re able to experience the freedom & excitement we’re looking for.

Instead of running away, we need to get quiet & look deeper.

When I look my fear in the face, ask what’s up, live more slowly & more intentionally, processing & addressing the deeper feedback I receive… I’m able to suck the juice out of each and every moment, and I have more juice to share with others.

That’s important to me because, at the end of the day, the only moment we’re guaranteed is this one.

Whether we face that fact with fear or with trust is our choice.

We need to enjoy our people, do what we’re called to do, love how we want to love, & be the fullest version of ourselves NOW. Because we are not guaranteed tomorrow, and that’s a plain simple fact.

Loving & connecting with myself through the strategies I teach in Conscious Wholeness (previously Mental Wholeness) is the foundation that allows me to live this way.

The solution is leaning into yourself & the universe & the people you love. This is how you will start to feel better & still get everything done that needs to be done, getting (& giving) the most with every moment you have.

That’s what I live & that’s what I help with, so you’ll have everything you need to make new choices when you’re presented every-day opportunities…

Accepting an offer for help – no matter how large or small – instead of saying “no, that’s fine, I can do it myself.”

Using your own self-connection & loving treatment of yourself to lift you away from the bad habits & crutches in your life.

Successfully grounding yourself & addressing your internal needs instead of generally freaking out or getting snarky, angry, & critical towards the people you love.

Advocating for what’s important to you, rather than conforming to the desires of others.

Expressing your boundaries when they’re being crossed or close to it, so the people around you understand how you want to be treated.

Honoring your own boundaries rather than crossing them to do something that depletes you.

Choice by choice, your life will open up & you’ll feel better.

If this is interesting to you, please connect with me.

Leave me a comment and let me know – if you could learn one thing about anxiety, what would it be?

Thanks for reading.

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